Eat Your Heart Out: TPE Night Markets

If you live a late night lifestyle like I do, Taiwan’s night markets are essential eating for you. Most of them are open until midnight or later and they have all the delicious foods you crave while taking that disco nap. While I didn’t explore every night market in Taipei, I went to a lot of them. Trying to do a must-eat list of any night market is beyond the scope of this post but I wanted to highlight some favorites items. If you’re looking for fancy photos and nice reviews, you’re looking in the wrong place. I was there to eat, eat, eat.

My basic M.O. was to walk along and collect everything I wanted, and then sit down at a soupy noodle place to eat everything. Some of my staple foods at night markets: fried chicken, guava, fried squid, aiyu jelly or grass jelly drink, pan fried dumplings, maybe an egg fried rice if I’m feeling rice-y. And if I’m around any tofu pudding 豆花 I have to get it. I can eat a lot at one sitting, despite appearances. Nothing disappoints me more than when a partner-in-eating takes three bites and then declares that they're stuffed. Really?!

Here's my other post on late night and non-night market foods I liked: TPE Eats. And if you're don't want to read a thing, just check out the Foursquare list I made.

Ningxia Night Market 寧夏夜市
This was my go-to night market for late night dinner or a snack. The main drag is pretty short but filled with delicious foods. While the fried food selection tends to be lacking, there's a little bit of everything here, even if most of the stuff isn't top notch. Still, it's an easy in-and-out option, with a slew of shaved ice and dessert places. Sometimes I would swing by Ningxia right after dinner elsewhere, simply for dessert.

• Boneless Milkfish @ 李家香無刺虱目魚 : This delicate fish soup is light and delicious. Perfect to wash down all the other stuff you just gorged on.
• Sesame Peanut Mochi Shaved Ice @ Linji Mochi 林記燒麻糬 : One of my favorite desserts in Taiwan, although when I took friends to it, half of them weren't as enthusiastic. I don't care, this giant mochi ball concoction is a winner.
• Sweet glutinous balls 湯圓 and sweet tofu : There’s actually two stands right next to each other on the right side of the street, and they serve similar but slightly different items. Pick your poison, as it were.
• Thai fusion @ 泰味鮮 : It's more like Taiwanese food with Thai flavors, and good for some staple rice and noodle items.
• Pig liver soup @ Yuan Huan 圓環邊蚵仔煎 : Most people come here for the oyster pancake 蚵仔煎 but I don’t mess with that stuff so I come for the liver soup.

Raohe Night Market 饒河夜市
This is the night market that many people cite as their favorite. The main reason is that it's got a huge selection of food and with just one long street, it's easy to stroll down. Of course, if it's crowded, which Raohe most often is, getting through just one side can be a chore.

Ciyou Temple 慈祐宮 sits at one end of Raohe and is a nice "wow" moment if you're bringing friends. Note: I tend to skip the wait for the famous Fuzhou pepper bun, or hujiao bing 胡椒餅, because the line is always so long. But if you've never tried it you should get it at least once.

• Okonomiyaki @ Fukushima Yaki 福島屋圓圓燒 : There's two okonomiyaki spots but this one is better. Look for the yellow awning, the two dudes slinging it, and the round portions (as opposed to the square version).
• Oyster vermicelli @ 百年老店 : There's a lot of rice vermicelli around, of course, and you might be intrigued by the line at the various Ah-Chung Flour Rice Noodle spots. But this tiny stall at Raohe is delicious and I'd recommend getting the oyster vermicelli, the meatball soup, and the rice. [Can't find a link to this place, so not sure if that's the name. Consult the photo.]

Shilin Night Market 士林夜市
The most touristy and biggest night market in Taipei. Shilin is often a shit show. But there's a ton of shopping there, multiple alleys and avenues to explore, and you gotta go just to go. For most of my time in Taipei I avoided Shilin except when friends visited because I didn't love any of the food there.

Then I discovered the best cold noodle place in all of Taipei. Exclamation exclamation! Now, I've had a lot of cold noodle places -- after hours, for lunch, in my dreams -- but this one is seriously the best. Something about their peanut sauce is just way better than the other cold noodle spots. Sure, Shilin is a little far up there but the Jiantan MRT drops you right off at the entrance and shockingly, Uber-ing there is pretty cheap, like NT150 from Zhongxiao Xinsheng.

• Cold noodles @ 好朋友涼麵 : They only serve cold noodles and egg drop soup but what a combo. This was my last meal in Taipei right before I left. I weep for how late I discovered these noodles. The name means "good friend" and it's very apt. Farewell friend, farewell...

Shida Night Market 師大夜市
For three months I lived right in Shida night market so I’m pretty familiar with it. Even still, there’s a ton of food I haven’t tried there, and even something pretty well-known, like the salted water chicken I didn’t try until my last week in Taiwan. There’s too much stuff to go over in detail but my go-tos were the scallion pancakes (not as good as one in Dongmen, but serviceable), the gua bao 割包, saying hello to the noodle robot, lu wei 燈籠滷味, and the breakfast spot when you go to class at 10AM (or when you come back from Chess at 5AM),… The list goes on. But below are some highlights.

Also, Roboppy has a list of her favorite places to eat in Shida and covers quite a lot of ground, so you should take a look. Actually Robyn is dropping incredible posts about everything Taiwan recently, so go check out all her Favorite Things Taiwan pieces.

• Mantou @ Yong Fung Sheng 永豐盛 : This mantou spot is always crowded but if I walked by and there were less then ten people, I’d stop by for a mantou. Without fail.
• Sheng Jian Bao 生煎包 @ 許記生煎包 : Located down a side alley, a dozen tasty sesame meat buns were the perfect quick eat.
• Rice Balls 飯糰 @ 活力飯糰 : Stuffed with delicious, I couldn’t get this anymore after I stopped going to class because it closes too early. However, it’s the most delicious rice ball I’ve had in Taipei, and I’ve had a lot of them. Hello Taiwanese burrito!
• Boneless Salted Water Chicken @ 去骨盐水鸡 : There’s a few salted chicken spots but this one seems to be the best. The line is long but you gotta try it because it's quite special.
• Indian Food @ Out of India : Finding good Indian food in Taipei is hard. This one is surprisingly decent. Not great, decent.

Lehua Night Market 樂華夜市
While this night market is quite a bit further away, out to the east by Dingxi MRT in New Taipei, I really like it. For one, it's expansive, with a variety of foods and shops to look at. Also, I've only got one recommendation here, which makes it a super special spot...

• Thai papaya salad @ 官記泰式涼拌木瓜 : The story goes that this guy used to be a gangster (and I believe it) but is now slinging papaya salad. It's a husband-and-wife team and there's always a huge line because he makes the papaya salad one by one. You'll see why it takes so long once you get there. (Tip: Be careful when ordering because even the mild spicy is crazy hot.) I've only ever had this dish twice but I've gone to Lehua four times to look for it -- it's often closed. This papaya salad is fucking great and I kind of just like watching him make it. Maximum effort for maximum papaya. 

And of course there's a whole bunch of other night markets in Taipei but these were the ones I frequented the most. I went to Tonghua a few times, walked through Datong once, cruised the very traditional Huaxi one, including the weird and sort of scary Snake Alley. When we were very young I remember going to Snake Alley and thinking how cool it was, but now it's basically dilapidated and freaky. Some interesting turtle specimens in the tanks though!

Eat Your Heart Out: Taiwan

When I first got to Taipei, it was a joy to walk around and randomly find wonderful places to eat. The problem was re-finding a spot. Enter Foursquare/Swarm. I highly recommend downloading both apps and using Swarm to check-in and Foursquare to look for food. While Yelp is in Taiwan now, it's still relatively new and I find a lot of places not on it still.

My entire eating guide for Taiwan is available as a Foursquare list, if you wanna just follow that: Eat Your Heart Out, TPE Edition. As you'll soon realize, fifty-percent of my food consumption is noodles. And here's my other post about favorite night market foods if you wanna take a look.

Late Night Options
While there's always the old standbys for late nights -- 24-hour beef noodle soup, Chinese breakfast joints, 小李子 for congee, cold noodle spots, slurping 7-Eleven instant noodles while sitting on the curb -- I've discovered a few places that are open later than usual and worth the trek. No surprise, Taipei is a night owl's eating paradise.

Also take a look at Thousandth Girl's breakdown of late night eats before you dive into mine because Steph breaks it down pretty accurately. As usual.

• Chubby noodles @ Gao Jia Silver Needle Noodles 高家莊米苔目 : Open from 7PM till 5AM. There’s basically only five things on the menu here and the standout is the chubby noodles, but you’ll want to order a bit of everything. Note: Seating is outside.
• Fried fish, plus everything @ 阿財虱目魚肚 : This place doesn’t even open until 10PM, and it stays open till 5AM. I love a variety of things here, from the fried fish to the clam soup, to the fried rice. Mostly it's a nice step up from other late night basic eats. The only downside is that oftentimes there’s a long line.
• Noodles @ Matsu Noodles 四鄉五島馬祖麵店 : This place is open late, depending on location, and has a variety of noodles plus some fried chicken and nice sides to set things off. Plus there’s a plastic bin of hard boiled eggs right in front, which is the sign of a in-the-know establishment.
• Seafood congee @ 嘉義鮑魚海產粥 : Now this was a true hidden gem, also another open until 5AM. This place serves individually stewed pots of congee filled with fish, shrimp, oysters, and other assorted seafood. It's a wonderful remedy on a rainy night.
• Dim sum @ Sweet Dynasty 糖朝 : I don’t mess with much dim sum in Taipei but Sweet Dynasty is open until 2AM and useful as it’s just above Omni night club. Warning: They seem to run out of the popular dishes late at night but if you’re in a pinch for dim sum, this will do.
• Cold Noodles @ Deluxe Noodle 劉媽媽涼麵 : If you go clubbing in Xinyi then you’ve probably been here. Cold noodles and egg drop soup served outdoors. Open from 10PM until 6AM. Classic. Also, there’s Chen’s noodles 陳家涼麵 nearby, but I hugely prefer this one.
• Noodles and lu rou fan @ 芝香雞肉飯 : Another post-clubbing staple, this spot is located right across from Taipei City Hall MRT so it's very convenient, and open until 6AM on most nights. Similar rotation of cold noodles, lu rou fan, and egg drop soup.

In General

• Beef noodle soup @ 濟南牛肉麵 : Everyone has their own favorite beef noodle soup place. This is mine, right by Zhongxiao Xinshen MRT and family run. My grandmother has been going to this place since she was young. The secret's in the broth, which has all kinds of extra complexity over the normal beef noodle soup broth. (Don't confuse this for 七十二牛肉麵 directly across the street.) My usual option B for beef noodle soup, although in a totally different direction, was 林東芳牛肉麵.
• Yakiniku @ 弍兩日式炭火燒肉 : My Malaysian friend’s parting gift was to introduce me to this cheap Japanese BBQ spot. The decor is worth half a star but the food is delicious and the prices outrageous. There’s an all you can eat NT399 option but we could never even eat enough to get to NT399 so we just ordered plate-by-plate. While they have a lot of things on the menu, after multiple tries we basically just stuck with the beef slices. So freaking cheap and good! This spot is the gift that keeps on giving.
• Wonton noodles @ 奇福扁食 : Located near the Dongmen MRT, my classmate put me on this and it quickly became a staple restaurant for me. A quick bowl of wonton noodle soup, what's not to love?
• Sausages @ 紅花大香腸 : The one I frequented was at the entrance of Tongan Night Market and it was the best sausage I’d ever eaten. There are a lot of sausage vendors at the various night markets but this one was just simply above the rim.
• Octopus noodles @  Tainan Way 臺南味 : I covered this already in my post about slurpy things, but I’ll put it down again because the octopus noodles are just that good. Plus dumplings!
• Soba @ 2½ Months Soba 二月半 : Also covered in the previous post, and worth repeating.

• Hot pot @ Elixir Health Pot 無老鍋: There’s a ton of hot pot places in Taipei, and most of them are decent. My late night go-to was Old Sichuan 老四川 since it was open until 1:30AM and kind of near my house. This Elixir place though, was totally next level and although I’ve only gone once, I would love to go again.
• Rechao 熱炒 @ Pinxian Seafood 品鱻生猛活海鮮 : There’s a ton of rechao places but I like this one, located by the Liuzhangli MRT station. You'll need a lot of friends to eat 熱炒 though, and sadly I was always short one or two. Or five. Or ten.
• Lunch sets @ Boon Keng Chicken 文慶雞 : You can order a take-out lunch box for super cheap and the Hainanese chicken is great.
• Tainan food @ Tu Hsiao Yueh 度小月  : The danzai noodles are the draw but I LOVED this sweet but slightly bitter vegetable that we ordered. Any idea what it is?
• Lu rou fan @ Jinfen Braised Pork Rice 金峰滷肉飯 : Rumored to be the best in Taipei and I've only had it once so it's hard to say. I wouldn't go out of the way for it but the one time I had it, it lived up to the hype.
• Hakka food @ 晉江茶堂 : If you want to try some traditional Hakka food in a fun setting, give this spot a try.
• Cute everything @ Polar Cafe : If you ever wanted a marshmallow polar bear floating in your latte, this is the spot. The drinks themselves are pretty average (and pricey) but edible polar bears don't come cheap do they?
  

Food Review: Slurpy Things

Let’s talk about some of the more off-beaten food choices in Taipei. This week I was introduced to octopus noodle soup, a Tainan specialty, at a downstairs mall sorta of area by Fuxing. I wish I could tell you where it was but I forgot to check-in for it. (That’s how I track stuff I’m eating, by checking in on Swarm.) The thin rice noodles, clear broth, and loads of octopus rings are a delight.

And then at Ningxia night market, we stepped into a seafood place on the side and my friend introduced us to milkfish soup. Milkfish is very popular but hard to eat because it’s very bony. I don’t like to work that hard for my food but in this version, the milkfish is already de-boned! And served with some ginger strips in the soup and a side of wasabi/soy sauce dip, the entire taste is very 輕輕, or light and delicate. At least I hope that’s what 輕輕 means.

Also at the night market we had this sesame peanut shaved ice concoction with giant mochi balls stuffed inside. The lady slinging the stuff was ruder than the Soup Nazi but her product was amazing. I guess if you have a huge line you can be as un-customer friendly as you want. This ice thing is totally worth the wait.

Other discoveries this week: a pretty acceptable tsukemen spot and also a very nice soba place, both in a part of town I’d never explored before. I’m starting to feel like Taipei is kind of small but I know there’s lots of little areas I’ve yet to explore, so it was affirming to find such a cool area still within striking distance of my house. Note: The tsukemen place is right across from the famous unagi-don spot, which I've never been to yet because I have a slightly irrational fear of eel still, after my college roommate got a bone stuck in his throat like ten years ago and we had to hit the emergency room. Also, I am not trying to eat Flotsam and Jetsam, thank you very much.

So this soba place, 二月半, is located in Zhongshan, which used to be quite a popular arty area before Huashan sort of took over. There’s a bunch of intriguing Japanese spots we walked by and this soba place was a definite find. Located right across the street from the old, Spot, an art house cinema, 二月半 served delicious soba in a relaxing and authentic atmosphere. Well, I don’t know if it was authentic, but hey, it had Japanese stuff on the walls.

And while I’m here, a plug for 小李子, which serves congee all night and is open until six in the morning. It’s basically my go-to place after a late night and to be honest, I’m more excited about the rice porridge than the actual going out portion of the night. If you want to get me out of the house fast, just text “Wanna go get 稀飯?!"

Also I did important work this week and compared the filet-o-fishes from McDonald's and MOS Burger, a ubiquitous Japanese hamburger chain here. Despite copying McDonald's in every way, the MOS Burger filet-o-fish is a mere knock-off. Don't settle for anything but the real deal.

• Octopus noodles @ 臺南味 (Tainan Way),  with video
• Tsukemen @ 麵屋武藏 (Musashi) | Unagi-don @ 肥前屋
• Soba @ 二月半 (2½ months Soba)
• Sesame peanut mochi shaved ice @ 芝麻花生麻糬冰
• Milkfish soup @ 李家香虱目魚粥 (Li Xiang)
• Late night congee @ 小李子 (Xiao Lizi)

我寫,我跳舞,我吃面

Currently pushing: Starbase Orion and Star Realms. In a shocker, during our entire twenty-five or so hours of flight time, I never even put on a movie. Half of our time was spent sleeping but the other half was spent staring at our iPhones, playing the two aforementioned iOS games. Star Realms is a space themed Ascension, which I played a lot of last year, and it's pretty comparable. But the real time suck is Starbase Orion, which is rightly lauded as the best 4x game (explore, expand, exploit, exterminate) on mobile. The hours just flew by as we lost ourselves in virtual battle.

Alright, here with Taiwan part two -- part one here -- even though we’ve been back for a few weeks already. We left Taipei in a rush, after packing in a ton of activities the last few days. Actually, who am I kidding. Basically once we discovered mango ice, my friend became obsessed and we ate it twice a day until we left. And then went straight to Tea Station when we got back to San Diego, for a C+ approximation. The great mango hunt basically took up our last few days. No joke.

While we can’t rightly call ourselves mango ice connoisseurs yet, we did hit up the famed Ice Monster, as well as its sister store, Smoothie House. Actually, “sister store” is a misnomer as Smoothie House was opened up after the husband and wife owners of Ice Monster had an acrimonious divorce. Mango drama! One morning we took the wrong train and ended up in Da-an District after being there the previous night.

SCENE: Yongkang Street, 9am
J: “What do you want to eat?”
F: “Should we just get mango ice for breakfast?”
J: “Yes."

This blog is not about food so I’ll leave that to the experts. But let me highlight this one beef noodle shop. It’s called, well, I have no idea. George and AMR had told me about this killer beef noodle spot by my mom’s apartment but none of them knew how to get there. By sheer serendipity, my friend and I happened to find it on Day 2 of our trip.

This dude was banging out beef noodle soups, Jiro-style, from this tiny storefront and after a moment’s hesitation to determine if it was too hot out for soup, we sat and downed our first bowl of the trip. I didn’t realize it would be the best place we would find, or that this was the exact place George and AMR had talked about. My mom grew up a few blocks away from the shop and she said that her mom had always loved it. Since I literally went back there four or five more times, I got friendly with the owner and he told me that he’s in his thirty-ninth year there. I hope to be there for the magic fortieth. [Update: A Taiwan-based friend found the spot, lucky you.]

Our last few nights, we got to explore a bit more of the city. Ximending for one, the Shibuya/Harajuku of Taipei. I got a few eyebrow raises when I relayed my excitement for the place, since apparently only young people go crawling through that area. I, of course, was intrigued to see what the youth of Taiwan looked like and off we went. As advertised, Ximending was full of people half my age and it was a bit much, like Times Square-lite. Still, I’ll be back to explore more since we were only there for an hour or so. Much of that time was spent trying to convince my friend to buy a pair of Chucks -- he only ever wears work shoes. Pro tip: Chucks go with everything! Another pro tip: The egg tarts at KFC are as great as advertised. Stunning right? In the end, my friend decided that he couldn’t do the shoes, much to my exasperation.

We spent our last night in Taiwan at a karaoke place. As it should be.

Okay, I’m gonna bang out some Taiwanese related media I’d been ingesting pre and post-trip. The Raw and Cooked is a German helmed movie about Taiwan’s culinary culture, with a focus on its growing environmental movement. The trip made me remember Daniel Zarazua’s (successfully funded) Kickstarter for Taiwan is My Home: Stories of the Black and Latino Diaspora, which should be dropping soon. And did I talk about how half of Lucy was set in Taiwan already? Director Luc Besson had visited Taiwan while promoting for The Fifth Element and he talks about the decision to start Lucy there, in this video.

I haven’t had a chance to see Au Revoir Taipei yet, but I really want to. The story is about a heartbroken boy who cooks noodles by day and learns French by night in order to chase after his ex-girlfriend in Paris. The "unfurls over the course of one night" structure is right up my alley. I've already been told the movie is no Before Sunrise, but that's okay, nothing ever really is.

Sidenote: I also noticed that Rajon Rondo was inexplicably popular in Taiwan. I saw more Rondo jerseys than anyone else’s, even Jeremy Lin’s. And this one newly opened coffee shop, Campus Cafe, featured a Michigan plaque, a Rondo jersey, and a Kevin Garnett Brooklyn jersey as main wall decorations. I thought maybe my fan doppelganger had been in Taiwan this entire time. Hello future friend, I'm already excited for us to watch sports together. What's your Line?

Also, I just finished watching High Tech, Low Life, a documentary about Chinese citizen journalists Zola and Zhang Shihe. My former roommate, who works at POV, recommended it and I’m glad she did. It’ll make an interesting supplement to all the Hong Kong stories you’re currently reading.

Lastly, my friend Weiko recently made a Chinese-language romantic comedy set in Taiwan, 100 Days (真愛100天), and while I keep missing U.S. screenings of it, you should try to catch it when you can! The title is in reference to a Buddhist belief that when a parent passes away before their son/daughter is married, that child has one hundred days to get hitched or else the parent’s soul will linger on. Talk about pressure. The script is partly based on Weiko’s own experiences, responding to his mother's death a few years ago. Here's the trailer.

• Taiwaneseamerican.org interview with Weiko
• 100 Days Behind the Scenes: Characters
• Meet Zuola, China’s pioneering citizen journalist (2013)
• Debbie Gibson making mooncakes in Taiwan (1995)
• Video of Rondo playing pickup in Taiwan (2012)

Right Cycle

Listening to: TLC, "What About Your Friends"
Today at 8:21pm: Shooting bricks at the Mission Playground

At Raven Bar this weekend, it was mostly Nineties hip hop (an endangered commodity) and they played the videos along with the songs. Half the time, in-between dancing, I was just watching the TVs thinking about how I'd never seen the video for a particular track. Like the "What About Your Friends" video. Watch that thing, it's Nineties perfection. Of course, having Miley "Twerk" Cyrus stare out from the Youtube ads next to T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli wearing strings of condoms on their baggy pants -- worn to promote sex education and safe sex -- is just, well. It's something. I don't have the vocabulary to describe it.

• TLC : Condom Fashions Are a Political Statement (1992)
• VH1 Thought a TLC Movie Was a Great Idea But the Trailer Indicates Otherwise

I hate Will Ferrell movies, barely tolerate Marky Mark, but The Other Guys has elevated itself to must-see status based on the strength of these TLC scenes, which my friends used to reference constantly for infinite amusement. It's the little things you know?

I'm currently running around San Francisco for a few weeks, for various things. A houseboat trip, our birthday, a camp wedding, a roast/toast birthday. September in the Bay lined up nicely. The weather was wonderful too, for a second, and I was all like "I should come back!" Then on day three I waited forty five minutes for a bus, got on the wrong one out of impatience, and my trip from Nob Hill to the Mission ended up taking an hour and a half. Aha, that's why I can't do SF anymore.

Well, that was my line of griping until I got my hands on a friend's spare bike. It's a Public Bike and those things are beautiful. The Public Bike bells look like oversized Skittles and it's impossible to not want one. I may get one and I don't even own a bicycle. Ding ding.

Astride a bicycle, I can zip the three miles down Polk Street to Valencia in like fifteen minutes. After a summer spent using the heck out of New York's Citibike, I've decided bicycles are the only real way to get around. Anywhere. I used to love walking around in cities but now I'm just like, "bike, bike, bike" all the time. I was initially fearful of San Francisco's vaunted hills but with the right gear switching, it's not a big deal.

For our birthday, George planned a ride across the Golden Gate Bridge and into Sausalito for brunch. It was an inspired idea and clearly proved that wisdom comes with age. She also suggested we hand out Doublemint gum as favors, because well, that's what twins do. On Saturday morning, our really hardcore bike gang gathered at Sports Basement Presidio and off we went -- two birthday balloons streaming behind us. Well, after the delay of fixing my rear tire. Somehow I managed to blow the inner tube thing not fifty feet from the entrance. Whoops.

The overall ride wasn't hard, really it was a cakewalk, but it felt great. Obviously I like my accomplishments in small doses.

So far, this San Francisco trip has been all about being active and doing things outside. I've barely touched my computer, it totally misses me I'm sure. Between all the biking, tonight's basketball session, and a cardio dance class the other day, I'm freaking beat. I mean, my life is usually pretty sedentary -- and that's the way I like it.

About that dance class. My friend Palak started teaching Doonya: The Bollywood Workout at Metronome Dance Collective and we popped over the other day to check it out. Let me just say that I have newfound respect for all that hopping around. I was winded after fifteen minutes, wanted to collapse after thirty, but somehow found the strength to make it through to the end. I'm pretty sure I've never taken any cardio classes before. By design.

And the last dance class I took was I don't even remember when. So any (in)ability to pick up routines, make sure my hands and feet are approximately where they're supposed to be, stay on rhythm while trying not to fall over, all of it proved impossible. Still, I tried my best and it was super fun. But so sweaty. So so sweaty. Newsflash: Cardio workouts make you sweaty. Shocker! Anyhow, if you want to get your Indian dance on, pop over to Potrero Hill.

Semi-related, here's our other friend in these bhangra competition videos. She is superb. I don't even have to point her out because you can't miss her. She's the one that's the best.

• Lethal Bhangra Crew @ Bruin Bhangra (2006)
• West Side Alliance @ Bruin Bhangra (2013)

Last thing, there is now boba in the Mission courtesy of Boba Guys. Rejoice! The Boba Guys' logo features an anteater, which is truly inspired. Zot, zot, zot! Co-owners Andrew Chau and Bin Chen did posts at GOOD Magazine's website for awhile, starting with "Meet the Boba Guys and Watch Them Start a Business (2011)."

Thankfully they now have a permanent location on 19th and Valencia. Please visit them because otherwise the Mission will be bereft of boba. And we can't have that. Their menu also features a horchata drink plus boba. Why has this not been invented before? Absolutely delicious. I've already been to Boba Guys three times this past week, and would have gone a fourth time tonight if they hadn't closed already.

That's another thing I forgot about San Francisco: Everything closes so damn early. We left Raven Bar around two, when we were barely warmed up. How are people supposed to get some proper birthday dancing in around here?! On the ride home, George and I kept repeating, "It's over? It feels so early. It's really over?"

• GOOD Magazine Series: Meet the Boba Guys

Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go

What to do when your basketball season is over, and there's a long gap between Game of Thrones and Mad Men episodes? You simmer and wait for Sunday, that's what. I guess when there's no worthwhile television to suck up your time, the best thing to do is turn to consumerism. Below are ssome items I highly recommend.

As warm weather approaches, it's time to throw on some shorts and expose those pasty winter legs. An enduring problem I've had over the years is how to wear your low cut sneakers while at the same time preserving the look of no socks? (People who don't wear socks in their sneakers are disgusting. Dis-gus-ting!)

I've tried to buy the lowest profile socks I could, but they were never good enough. My socks still showed, especially when wearing Chucks. My friend Brian used to roll his socks over -- heel to toe -- to create cushion on the front while maintaining the no profile look, but that wasn't an elegant solution. Enter Ninja Sox.

"Ninja Sox are the true no show sock! They are crafted to wear with low top shoes and are designed to give you the look of going sockless and provides the feel and comfort of wearing socks." When my friend @ykoad tweeted about his recent purchase of Ninja Sox, I took one look and knew I had to buy some also. Six pairs and a few test sessions later, I'm sold. My entire summer sock collection will soon be ninjaed out.

After some more research, a lot of companies sell no show socks -- or "footies" -- but I don't care. I'm going Ninja Sox forever, mainly because of the name, but also because Ninja Sox come with a special "no slip silicone patch" that ensures the sock stays on your heel. This is high technology my friends.

And here we go, the great gummy penguin faceoff. For more than a decade, I have been touting the deliciousness of gummy penguins. "Gummy what?" you say. Let me tell you about them. These black and white beauties are denser than normal gummies, provide a wonderful chew, and feel like Shamu skin to the touch. They are also peach flavored. I love them so much I even sang their praises in my book. Multiple times.

For a few dark years, there was a gummy penguin drought as Sweet Factory stopped carrying them. I was in a panic. At every candy vendor, I would desperately ask the same thing, "Do you have any gummy penguins?" Nobody had any idea what I was talking about.

For awhile, I tried out these gummy tummies penguins from Trader Joe's -- introduced to me by my friend Anna -- but while they were delicious, they were not true peachy gummy penguins. These Trader Joe's versions were more like traditional gummies, albeit with a delicous burst of juice built into the tummy.

Eventually I found the answer to my gummy dilemma: the Internet. There are online sites that sell gummy penguins in bulk, and even in a twenty pound bag. Yes, twenty pounds of gummy penguins for $80. A steal if you ask me. And they come straight from Antarctica to your door, it's amazing. Unfortunately, after ordering a couple of pounds for taste testing, I figured out that penguin gummies are best ingested fresh. If they sit around for too long, they tend to not be as chewy. The solution is to order two pounds from Amazon, and if you have Prime like I do, shipping is absolutely free.

Recently, Sweet Factory has returned to the penguin gummy game by not only re-carrying the penguin gummies, but also stepping it up a notch by giving their new penguins colored tummies also. Mainly it's a fake out, as the coloring has no effect on the peachy taste. Still, a nice combo job of both the traditional and Trader Joe's versions. I dare say we are in the golden age of penguin gummies. Get on board.

• E.Frutti Gummy Peach Penguins 2.2 Lb
• Black & White Gummy Peachy Penguins, 20 Lb
• Sweet Factory Assorted Fruit Gummy Penguins
• Trader Joe's Gummy Tummies Penguins

If my predilection for sugary things wasn't obvious enough, let me share with you my new find: Good & Delish 4 Star Maple Leaf Creme Cookies. First of all, these things are made with real maple syrup. And have no preservatives, artificial flavors, or hydrogenated oils. I know, who cares about that marketing mumbo jumbo! How do they taste?!

I'm here to report that these cookies have a wonderfully thick outer layer along with a melty center. Someone really took the time to balance crunch with creme. Did I mention these things look like maple leaves? So brilliant right? As anybody knows, all the best cookies come in animal or plant shape. Or are made by elves. Or Girl Scouts. Or Diddy Riese. Plus the box art features a crane, as a maple piece is lowered to create a cookie tower. You may not be able to see it, but in the background of the image are New York skyscrapers. The connection between precise engineering and delicious cookie could not be more clear.

I bought my first box of Maple Leaf Creme Cookies at Duane Reade, but they are available at Walgreen's too, since Good & Delish is Walgreen's private brand. The cookies come in normal and organic variations. I prefer the organic ones because they are a bit softer to the bite, but to be honest, I have a box of each within easy reach. These addictive cookies have now slotted into number two on my all time cookie list, right after Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Stars Cookies. Those beauties were seasonal and now discontinued, so I guess I have only the maple leaf cookies to live for now.

Snack snack snack crunch, snack snack snack munch.

Seaweed Is Always Greener

My favorite museum, stretching back many years, had been the American Museum of Natural History. It was the first time I laid eyes on a (fake) blue whale, a sunfish, and many other fine specimens. It didn't occur to me that a better natural history museum existed. Sadly, in a blow to my ignorance and my childhood, I went to the Smithsonian Institution National Museum of Natural History recently and within minutes, knew that this was far superior.

Sure, the whale on the ceiling of the New York natural history museum was bigger -- a blue whale versus a right whale -- but everything else at the Smithsonian was better. The only defense I have is that Sant Ocean Hall is much newer. It opened in 2008, and features a giant squid. Yes, an actual giant squid. It's only thirty five feet long or so, but c'mon, it's a freaking giant squid. Oh yeah, there are actually two giant squid in the hall. The other one is slightly smaller at "only" twenty feet. Pew pew, mind blown.

And then there were all the things I'd never seen before -- except maybe on nature documentaries. Like this prickly thing that I thought was maybe a strange Dumbo squid. Or how about this beauty with the daddy longlegs? The hits kept on coming too. It wasn't just the ocean stuff. The mammals and dinosaurs were also amazing. I saw an echidna, two pangolins, a pair of giant sloth skeletons, a coatimundi, a hyrax, a cloud leopard, a teeny tiny European mole… Ugh, it was just so much. I saw things I had never even heard of, like a streaked tenrec and a kinkajou.

Related: With certain friends, we talk about animals a lot. Like a lot a lot. And we used to play a game where we'd pick a letter of the alphabet and then go around naming as many animals starting with that letter as possible. Whenever I see a new great animal, I try to store it away for future game use. The Smithsonian blew my mind. I can't wait to scream out "kinkajou, kinkajou!"

Most of my commentary during our museum excursion, aside from general wonderment, had to do with how fluffy the fur was for all of the stuffed mammals. Basically, this was me the whole time: "It's so fluffy!" The brown bear in particular seemed to have had all sorts of hair product applied. Plus it was gigantic, which led me to believe it had to be a Grizzly bear, but since that's just a sub-species, perhaps it wasn't labeled as such.

The presentation of the specimens were a bit cramped, but I'd rather have a lot of things to look at rather than not much of anything. Exhibit A: California Academy of Sciences, which has a pathetic natural history display. Sorry San Francisco, you deserve better.

Coincidentally, I just happened to read this great article from Lapham's Quarterly, "How to Be a Stuffed Animal," about the sponsored hunts that the American Museum of Natural History used to acquire specimens, along with some interesting tidbits about advancing taxidermy techniques and philosophy. It also made me realize the difference in how the AMNH showcases their collection (in a diorama-like style) versus at NMNH, which was just straight animals. A highly recommended read.

And let's not forget this piece, "The Private Lives of the Cryptozoologists." My friend has been obsessed with crytopzoology for awhile and he recently visited the International Crytptozoology Musuem and met its founder, Loren Coleman. Coleman's book, Cryptozoology A To Z, is the one to buy if you need a gateway into this fascinating world. Okapi what?!

• Modeling "Phoenix," Our North Atlantic Right Whale
• A Century of Whales at the Smithsonian Institution
• The Object at Hand (1996)
• Persistent Dinosaur Myths (2012)
• Close up photo of a baby pangolin

In other news, the cherry blossoms in Washington D.C. haven't bloomed yet. Luckily there exists a cherry blossom cam to see when the proper time to visit our capital is. On the list of cams that I'd recommend watching, it's about one hundred slots below the Shamu Cam and fifty times less useful than Surfline. Really, it's better to just go to D.C. and hope for the best, like we did. Also, Ai Weiwei's first major U.S. show at the Hirshhorn is (sadly) over. We missed that too.

What we didn't miss was getting a chance to try out D.C.'s burgeoning ramen scene. While Toki Underground will have to wait for another visit, the shio broth at Daikaya is complex and delicious. They also play Prince and D'Angelo while you eat. If you're into that sort of thing.

• Taking Flight to a Land of Noodles
• The Ramen Dynasty: Inside the Sun Noodle Factory
• Noodle Lab Sun Attempts to Corner the New York Ramen Market (2012)

Got Buns, Son

Despite living in Fort Greene, I haven't been down to Greenlight Bookstore more than a handful of times. The first time was when I got locked out of my apartment six weeks ago and had to find shelter because I have no friends in the neighborhood. Plus I was jacket-less. After spending quite some time in Greenlight, I remembered why I really shouldn't go into bookstores.

Thank goodness I didn't have my wallet on me because I would have spent so much money. On a return visit, I somehow managed not to have my wallet again and had to put a staff recommendation on layaway, Kazushi Hosaka's Plainsong. It's early on but I already love it. I haven't had the chance to get to the end because I'm behind on this month's book club reading -- Zadie Smith's NW -- but I knew just flipping through the pages at Greenlight that Plainsong was right up my alley.

Also, I love Zadie Smith's movie reviews from Changing My Mind: Occasional Essays. It's the movie equivalent of reading Nick Hornby's Stuff I've Been Reading columns. It goes to show that if someone is smart, they can write about anything. The tough part is getting that smart...

• The In-Between Generation: A Review of Kazushi Hosaka's Novel Plainsong (2011)
• About.com review of Plainsong (2011)
• Nabokov, Meet 50 Cent: Zadie Smith's Changing My Mind (2009)
• Generation Why? Zadie reviews The Social Network (2010)
• The House That Hova Built: Zadie on Jay-Z and Barclays (2012)

The other night, we went to Greenlight for Eddie Huang's book release. I've been following him for a few years and love his new show on Vice, in which he visits various cities while eating and educating -- in his own special way. Having never met Eddie or spoken to him, I was curious what he was like in person. Put it this way: my friend, who was previously a bit of a Huang hater, proceeded to not only buy Eddie's memoir, Fresh Off the Boat, but wait in line to say hello to him afterwards. A new fan!

The event featured a Q&A with former NY Times restaurant critic Sam Sifton and the bookstore was packed with a very diverse crowd. For all authors out there, learn to make your readings funny. I can usually pay attention for about three minutes during a typical reading, but Eddie's personality and reading was just hilarious. Semi-pro tip: in a pinch, laugh at yourself, the crowd will awkwardly follow. Watching Eddie read made me want to write things that are like, actually funny when read out loud. Or just, you know, funny period. Dare to dream I guess. Below are a couple of my favorite Fresh Off the Boat Vice episodes, along with a lot of book related links.

• Fresh Off the Boat: Back to Taiwan Part 3
• Fresh Off the Boat: Bay Area Part 2 (2012)
• Chef Who Refuses to Be Defined by His Wok
• NY Times Review: Pork Buns Steamed in Bluster
• NPR: Fresh Off The Boat And Serving Up Asian Culture
• Eddie Huang and Heems: On Authenticity, Ethnicity, and Panda Sneakers
• Eater: How Much Eddie Huang Can You Cram in Your Brain?

Right after the book event, my friend and I drove to Flushing and threw down three dinners in a row. First we stopped at Hahm Ji Ban for what was possibly the best Korean BBQ I've ever had. Then we froze our asses off while getting skewers (the good one at 39th and Prince), before stumbling into Nan Xiang Xiao Long Bao -- one of the places Eddie Huang visits in his Munchies episode -- for soup dumplings, Chinese churros, sweet soy milk for dipping, and a bowl of noodles. All followed by an ultimate stomach meltdown. Obviously.

Hot Crossed Buns

Listening to: The new Girl Talk album, All Day, is kind of fantastic and available for free as always. I think he put in a lot more pop friendly stuff this time around and that makes the album eminently danceable. Someone please throw a party and just throw this on. The album contains something like 375 samples, and I'd be curious how he avoids copyright issues. Some genius put together this samples breakdown of the whole album. It's kind of incredible, even if it ruins the mystery a little.

There's a billion and one restaurants in New York, who's got the energy to try them all? I certainly don't, not to mention that I've recently decided to eschew the entire food(ie) culture. If trying new foods is what people like to do, I guess I'll just be sticking with my usual boring fare. Mere months ago I was all about trying to find the best something or other, or have the "yes I've been there" statement.

In San Francisco, eating is a big part of the culture and my friends definitely like that experience. Food touristing is a big gamble though, and the payoff is generally disappointment. For example, after half a dozen failed attempts to find fried chicken that was reasonably priced and better than KFC, I officially wrote off twenty dollar fried chicken. Other things on that list include lines and exorbitant prices for pizza, fusion menus, ice cream, and comfort foods. Give me the basic food pyramid, plus overdoses of noodles, and I'm golden. I will pay premium prices for a cupcake or cream puff though.

During the past week I've been to Arirang twice. My friend told me Momofuku David Chang had called the handmade noodles there his favorite meal. This represents an ideal meal for me too. No waits, huge portions, an instant re-craving, and perfectly priced. "Arirang" means "You'll be back" in Korean, I believe.

While reading about David Chang, I got onto the story of Eddie Huang, who is the proprieter behind Baohaus, which kicks out Taiwanese pork buns. Huang is the bad boy of the culinary scene I guess, and maybe you already know this, but he's regularly all over the food blogs and websites. There's the fight with a SF food truck that stole his "Chairman Bao" name. There's the recent semi-negative reviews of his new eatery, and his responses back. The Four Loko all-you-can-drink deal that never happened, and the subsequent raid. And then there's his CNN featurette that included his mom, after she sent him a typical "you need to do better" Chinese mom email after his lackluster review.

Most of all, I like Eddie's blog, The Pop Chef, in which he details his restauranteur journey with heavy doses of hip hop posturing. One post is his take on the Fresh Prince theme song. I started with his first blog entries and pretty much read every post last weekend while lounging in bed. His attitude is pretty assholey but at the same time, you got to admire him. A young man fighting his way onto the scene and doing his dream. There's a ton of stuff on the Baohaus press page, and maybe I read most of those articles too. I have no idea how Huang's food tastes but I'm definitely going to find out soon.

• New York Times Review of Xiao Ye
• Huang's response to Time Out New York review
• Racialicious on Huang's menu and antics
• Insatiable Review of Xiao Ye
• Eater: After Harsh Review, "It's On and Poppin"
• Viet World Kitchen review of Baohaus