The Re-Do

So I’ve had a personal podcast for awhile, “You, Me, Us” that was maybe sixty or so conversations I recorded over the years with friends. But that kind of died down as people stopped wanting to speak with me. Wah wah! But I love podcasting and wanted to make more, and last year I met a friend who also loves talking -- and can tolerate me! So we decided to make a podcast: The Re-Do.

Margot and I are long distance friends — we met last year in Taiwan — and she’s a world traveler and rambler like me. Well, I can’t really be called a world traveler, but she certainly is, as she’s been to over 30+ countries and counting. (Check out this You, Me, Us interview about her trip to North Korea.) We happen to have tons of stuff in common, but enough differences to be shaded differently in just about everything, so it makes for everlasting conversations. And now they're recorded!

We get together every two weeks or so to recall, recap, and reassess, and so far we’ve covered important topics like Harry Potter World, BBQ BFFs, and Tinder adventures. We’re available on iTunes, Stitcher, and Soundcloud, and so if you want to hang out with us, please do!

Note: I'm recording on a Blue Microphones Yeti, finally figuring out how to audio edit with Adobe Audition, and would appreciate any feedbackon (bad) audio. Thanks!

PS: The logo is a pencil, but sort of stylized like a cityscape. Do you see it?

Leaders of the New School

Listening to: Taylor Dayne, "Heart of Stone." Yeah I just found out about Taylor last week. Yeah, last week. As per usual, my Eighties music butler struck again. Lilly was jamming out while we were working and I'm like "Who is this, Belinda?" She proceeded to educate me and now I can't stop going through Dayne's greatest hits. Technically I know "Love Will Lead You Back" and "Tell It To My Heart" and all that stuff but when you don't know the artist, it's not the same, right?

The other big shocker is that Dayne is white. This rocked my world like when I found out that Billy Ocean was black. Related newsflash: Donna Summer is black. This is just getting embarrassing right? Bill Simmons has the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars, a "list of sports figures whose names would seem to indicate that they are of a different race or ethnicity than they actually are." Should the "sings like they're a different race/ethnicity club" be dubbed the Taylor Dayne All-Stars? Anyway, up next from my personal Eighties music butler is Jody Watley and Stacey Q. (I wouldn't know anything worth knowing without Lilly.) Also, read this: "Tig Notaro Meets Taylor Dayne Again and Again (2012)," plus accompanying video.

There’s a me-sized hole on our couch from the last few weekends of sitting around and burning through movies. I found myself watching stuff in marathon sessions, like six hours at a stretch. At least they were thematic so I could declare them as fiftyfifty.me minors. For example, I started off with J.C. Chandor’s Margin Call one night and then, intrigued by more stuff on the sub-prime lending fiascos, went through The Flaw and then The Pit, a movie about Wall Street commodities trading.

A couple of days later I started at Patriot Games and then with more political thrillers needed in my system, I called up Jack Ryan again in The Hunt for Red October and then The Sum of All Fears. If Clear and Present Danger was streaming I probably would have sat through that too. (Now I feel all but obligated to watch Shadow Recruit.) Were the films actually good? Eh, mostly average, but when you need that CIA fix you need that CIA fix.

And then I discovered that HBO Go had all their old series on tap and shot through Band of Brothers in about a week. Ten hours, one week. That's a lot of binge watching but nothing compared to what was about to come. I discovered Deadwood on a Friday night and finished the whole thing by Tuesday. Feining for a Western, I queued up Clint and Sergio's Fistful of Dollars but couldn’t get into it. So I dove into Deadwood instead and twelve hours later, emerged with the entirety of Season 1 under my belt. I seriously only got up to go to the bathroom.

Deadwood was on from 2004-2006 and is set in the 1870s during a South Dakota gold rush. Timothy Olyphant plays the white hat sheriff while Ian McShane is perfectly cast as a morally ambiguous saloon owner who Godfathers the town. The series is semi-historically accurate, with cameos from a series of Western folk heroes such as Wild Bill, Calamity Jane, and Wyatt Earp. Each episode ends on such a compelling note that I had to press on.

By the time I’d finished all three seasons -- the show was cruelly cancelled early -- I was thinking in writer/showrunner David Milch’s Shakespearean tinged lines, and wanting to call everyone “cocksucker.” The show has a ton of viciously fun profanity, wanton murders, and all sorts of bad things, plus the ingenious machinations and changing alliances hold your attention in both awe and disgust. I could go on forever, but I’m too busy trying to figure out where Deadwood falls in my personal pantheon of TV series. I’m almost afraid to admit it but it might rank above Mad Men right now. And I fucking love me some Mad Men.

• The Professor and the Madman (2006)
• Alan Sepinwall’s Deadwood Recaps, and S1E1 Newbies edition
• Deadwood: Honoring Cocksuckers and Hoopleheads (2011)

For most of 2007, I worked at a home mortgage place up in the Bay. I had the 7am - 4pm shift and it was horrible. The job was mostly mindless and after getting the hang of it and doing great for a few months, I lost interest and soon quit. I did learn a lot though, as we credit checked people for approvals, set them up for loans, and participated in all the stuff that are now red alarm terms: subprime lending, interest-only mortgages, , adjustable-rate mortgages, etc. Basically, I too had a small hand in the coming financial meltdown.

Out of curiosity, I Googled my old company to see what had happened to it. Apparently, a few months after I quit, the company fired five hundred employees as part of its restructuring, and there’s no doubt I would have been let go too. Looks like I got out of Dodge just in time!

Show Me the Money

For some reason I completely missed out on Work of Art: The Next Great Artist last season. Well, there's probably a great reason, as I try to avoid TV when possible. However, I remain intrigued by a competitive reality show about producing art so I caught a few episodes of season two the other day.

Whatever you think about the role of an artist and their relationship to their work and the public, Work of Art doesn't capture it. Produced by the same people behind Project Runway and Top Chef, WoA suffers from something the other two do not: an end product you probably won't actually like. You can watch a fashion or cooking show and lust after the dresses or food, but with WoA, just seeing the finished pieces isn't enough to keep your attention.

I think this is because a show about art should concentrate more on process instead of result. Instead, the format of WoA's contrived weekly challenges tends to brush aside any possible insight by concentrating on interpersonal plot lines. Then again, how do you depict the creative process on-screen anyway? You could argue that it's an interesting show simply because it shows artists period. In order for people to support the arts, they have to know some artists maybe? Even under any microscope or format?

What will keep me coming back to Work of Art is the critiques which probably mirror real art school critiques in their harshness. Because I generally just viscerally react to a piece of art, I don't actually have the vocabulary to disparage something I don't like. Work of Art is helping me out in this regard tremendously. "This is so second hand surrealism. You failed to draw me in as a voyeur or a viewer."

The show also probably reflects a lot about the confusion of artists about how their pieces are judged. They think they went from concept to execution pretty well, and then get torn down by the panel. Inside the must be thinking "What do you know about art?!" In this case however, some of these judges purportedly do know a lot about art. Purportedly.

• Work of Art Riles Up the Art World
• Daily Beast on Work of Art
• LA Times review

Most of the good art documentaries I've seen are retrospective, or have engaging protagonists or smart talking heads. Sadly some of the stuff I've been watching recently has been lacking. The short piece about the making of MOCA's recent Art in the Streets exhibit wasn't that good, despite my high expectations.

In that genre, I'd recommend Dirty Hands, the David Choi documentary ten times more. I'd also highly recommend checking out Art 21 from PBS, which is well produced and explores the working lives of contemporary artists. Start with this episode about Identity hosted by Steve Martin.

And I recently read this little book called "How to Start and Run a Commercial Art Gallery" and while I have no aspirations on doing any such a thing (unless you want to lend me a few million dollars), it was a really interesting look into the commerical side of the art world. I'm always curious who owns art galleries, or how they make any money, this book shed some insight into that.

Friendship is Magic

Sometimes you just wake up on a Sunday morning and get caught up researching all the hoopla around men who obsesses over My Little Ponies. This article will shed some light on what I'm talking about, "Hey Bro, That's My Little Pony!"

For starters, doesn't everyone already love My Little Pony? George and I were blessed in our youth to own the MLP Dream Castle. She probably got it in response to me receiving a Castle Grayskull. Since our toys were often mixed together, I know there were probably some epic wars between our action figures, as mounted GI Joes faced off against Barbies astride Battle Cat and Panthor. Oh those were the days.

Basically most of my morning was spent watching the new My Little Pony series on one computer screen while exclaiming "Oh this was my favorite!" as I browsed through old toys on the other. Looking over these classics from the 1980's, I'm stunned (and a bit ashamed) by how many we had. Clearly we were suckers for every marketing ploy and our parents were easily cajoled into buying us things. If my child insisted on purchasing all this crap now, I would not bow down to their unfettered consumerism. Plus I probably couldn't afford it since I'd have to buy two of each; one for playing, one for saving.

While one day does not a brony make, I am subscribing to Equestria Daily, the main MLP blog. I need to keep tabs on this fascinating community after all -- I have already recruited a pegasister and chosen Rainbow Dash as my favorite pony. If you've forgotten the original series, I recommend you check out the pilot episode here. I think you'll be surprised at the dragons versus ponies plotline; it's like super violent compared to the new series.

Aside from the fantastic animation style, I also really appreciate the many horse puns in MLP: Friendship is Magic. For example, "Canterlot" is the capital city of Equestria and the villainous pony calls everyone "little foals (as in 'fools')." And if you want to insult a pony that doesn't have their cutie mark yet, you can call them a "blank flank." A hint for the pop quiz tomorrow, The Elements of Harmony are honesty, kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty, and magic. Study up kids.

• Evolution of MLP characters
• My Little Non-Homophobic, Non-Racist, Non-Smart-Shaming Pony: A Rebuttal (2010)
• The End of the Creator-Driven Era in TV Animation (2010)
• Katy Perry inspired MLP music video, "Equestria Girls"
• Brand New covers MLP logo changes
• Glee's Success Cements Age of Geeky 'New Sincerity' (2010)
• 10 Most Desirable Action Figure Playsets of The 80’s

I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring

Currently pushing: Stereomood. Paula put me onto this, an emotional Internet radio site. Select a mood and away you go. I started off with "just woke up" and moved to "lost in thought" and "busy bee." The selections are varied and interesting and culled from these music blogs. I'm finding some magic songs using this and it's been replacing Shuffler.fm for me recently.

I spent my day eating hot deli sandwiches and watching a The Voice marathon with my friend. Later, as I flipped between the basketball game and the twentieth fifth Les Mis anniversary concert on KPBS, I decided I better queue up Platinum Hit while I was at it. I've been slacking on my TV watching recently because there just isn't enough time for all that when you sleep thirteen hours a day. I'm not sick or anything, I just require lots of charging.

In life, I live by a few key tenets, one of those is that anything becomes better/funner by adding teams and competition. That's why I watch MTV RW/RR Challenge, because it's the best competition show ever. But I digress. Singing shows has given us plenty of competition over the years but they were missing the teams portion. Let's be real, American Idol sucks. I personally gave up on it after the Season Five Taylor Hicks - Katharine McPhee debacle. I've realized that I kind of hate shows that leaves the decision up to America. I don't want the masses deciding anything talent related; I'd prefer professional opinions. (Hey Beat Freaks, I'm still hurting for you. You too Fanny Pak.)

Based on a Dutch show, The Voice is everything Idol isn't. After watching one episode I was hooked as I realized that it was essentially judge versus judge. Cee Lo, Adam Levine, Christina Aguilera, and Blake Shelton filled out their teams by sitting with their backs to the singers and then turning around if they liked what they heard. No judging on looks, personality, soppy backgrounds, etc. Pure singing. The cast reflects what happens when you take out some of that bias. It's diverse and interesting. If more than one judge turned around, the power shifts to the contestant and they get to choose which celebrity's team they want to be on. Genius! Here is a video of the judges doing "Crazy."

After assembling an initial team of eight contestants each, the judges then paired off their picks to battle against each other for only four spots in the live shows. By dueting on one song and physically performing in a ring together, the contestants are in a vocal duel to the elimination! I don't know what happens once the live shows start but I hope it works like Pokemon where each judge gets to throw out one of their team members to compete against another judge.

Imagine if the challenge is to sing a song like "Lately." Cee Lo might decide to send in Nakia to do battle versus Christina's Beverly and then so on down the line. There would be a lot of strategy in picking which contestants would battle each other and the judges would be really incentivized to work with and coach their artists. I'm pretty sure this isn't how it'll work but I can't wait to find out.

Another great thing about The Voice is that the the talent is way better than Idol, where 80% of the performances are straight terrible. My friend pointed out it's because the contestants tended to be a little more experienced and polished whereas the Idol folk tend to be younger and terrible. The Voice may not produce mega-superstars -- because of the image factor -- but it's less mournful on the ears. Also of note: Carson Daly is the host of The Voice. He's apparently ageless. I've missed you Carson, I just never knew it. You are the face of nostalgia.

Now to gush about Platinum Hit. I thought the show was going to be totally stupid but wanted to watch it because of Jewel's involvement. I thought I'd catch a few episodes to support her and then tune out. Turns out Platinum Hit is a legitimately good show.

The setup is that teams of songwriters work together to produce a potential hit and then the judges select who gets kicked off the losing team each week. Former Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi, is the spicy to Jewel's sweet, and in the first episode they brought up a great point: Who's to blame more for a failure? The leader or the follower who doesn't speak up if things are starting to get off track? I loved watching team members throwing each other under a bus and pointing fingers.

Aside from the teams and competition, the best part of Platinum Hit is that you get to see how hard the songwriting process is. The first episode featured songs about Los Angeles and many of the songwriters are already flummoxed. "Love it or hate it / If you're here you know you made it..." Terrible. Still, next time you hear a track that has the stupidest lyrics ever, maybe you'll pause a moment to appreciate the work of even the simplest hook. Okay, fine, maybe not quite, but the insight into the complexities of songwriting is appreciated and the real hook of the show. PHit's website posts the lyrics too, in case you look them over after an episode. The show also devotes a decent portion of the runtime to interactions during the track writing phase, which I love. You can totally tell who's a good team player or who would be annoying to work with.

And seriously, why are all these songwriters so damn good at singing? While they aren't being judged for their performances, most of the contestants are professional quality and kind of amazing vocally. Ridiculous! I'll definitely be sticking with Platinum Hit over The Voice but I'm pushing both on anyone who will listen -- or who's still watching Idol. Get with the program, Simon's gone, time for you to go too.

The 13th Letter

Listening to: Star Slinger, "Apollo Throwdown (RMX)." Hailing from the United Kingdom, this twenty something DJ and producer is kind of all over the place lately on my music blogs and stuff. Here's a bonus track, "Mornin'."

Current pushing: Melissa Beck's Tumblr. Hey MTV watchers, you know who you are. For almost a decade now, one of my favorite blogs has been Melissa Howard's (Real World: New Orleans). I love it when celebrities blog publicly, and at length. I love it even more when the celebrity in question is a word nerd, kind of neurotic, Hello Kitty obsessed, and super hilarious. Okay, for those criteria, Melissa is actually the only celeb that fits.

Anyway, Melissa would always write these huge long posts about her not so Hollywood life, her commentary on trashy television shows, going to Puck's insane wedding, and her crazy and loveable parents. She talks candidly about her various jobs, her Oxygen show, her actress work, and of course, reveals the motivation for doing RW/RR Challenges. For some reason, Melissa was only ranked ninety two on Maxim's Hot 100 Women of 2004 but taking into account personality, there's hardly a doubt she would have been number one.

Sadly her Princess Melissa site is gone but thanks to the power of the Wayback Machine, all her old posts are right here. Yes, right here! This link is probably the greatest gift I could give you this year, and I won't even need any "thanks" in return.

For awhile I thought she'd stopped posting but recently discovered that Melissa had jumped ship to Tumblr awhile ago but I just never knew. Finding her Tumblr and filling in the missing years was like catching up with an old friend. I mean, our friendship is kind of one sided but still.

So I've been patiently reading through her Tumblr archives -- I hate how Tumblr does archives by the way -- and trying to not read through them too quickly. Our favorite Melissa is now married, lives in Long Island, and has a beautiful baby named Shalom. And here's a recap of her awesomely low key wedding from My Simply Perfect. And a post about her engagement story. And her take on canceling play dates. I could link to her all day. Just read her already.

"But I am a pro at faking it. For years, honey. My husband doesn’t know the half of it. And he has astigmatism so he won’t be able to get through the first paragraph of this blog. But don’t think an hour before he gets home, I don’t get to pouring Pine Sol in the toilet. Swish, swish mother fucker. I’m the queen at taking the quick, non-luxuriating shower and throwing on tight jeans and a button down to give off the air of having sat around in real clothes.

Oh please, girl. As long as the sink is empty and the counters are wiped down and a batch of clothes is in the process of being folded, bitches are none the wiser. Hey! I should make a faking the funk checklist so you too can live the lie."

Admission: I check out The Miz's site once in awhile, but I don't follow WWE so it loses my interest pretty quickly. But maybe you will like it because you still follow professional wrestling. I mean, who am I to judge?

And if you're still secretly into the RW/RR stuff, we may need a new owner for our fantasy Challenge league. Don't be shy kids. It's only a guilty pleasure if you feel guilt. MTV 4 Eva.

The Peach Pit

Watching intently: The opening credits to Beverly Hills 90210, duh. And the pilot episode opening sequence, which I don't recall. And what's with the two black guys in business suits at the 0:52 mark? They were headed into high school? I want this song for my ring tone.

In about twelve hours I'll be sitting in a dental chair getting a little surgery. Nothing serious mind you, just my annual check up to make sure that my teeth haven't completely fallen apart. I have the worst teeth in the world; I'm told it's genetic. Actually I'm told to stop eating candy but what do the experts know anyway. I'm sure studies next decade will prove that sugar actually helps maintain your enamel.

I don't really fear the dentist much, unlike most normal people, mainly because every time I go it seems like something else has fallen apart and they need to fix it. "I know you came in for a cleaning but it looks like we're gonna have to go with the double root canal. Is that okay?" My response is invariably, "Sure, whatever." It's annoying and kind of stings but you buckle down and get over it. I figure if I want to tattoo every inch of my biceps one day, it'll be good practice for my pain tolerance.

Tomorrow while I sit in that chair though, I'll be absolutely giddy. So much so that I can hardly wait for my appointment. The reason? Bill Simmons will be releasing his mega 90210 podcast and I'll have two hours of amazing goodness to tide me through the appointment. Yes, tomorrow is 9/02/10! For the only time ever in the entire history of the human world. By now you've thrown aside your work ethic and emailed your boss about a mystery sickness, so please join me in celebrating this momentous occasion. It's 90210 day!

Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Ian Ziering, Gabrille Carteris, Brian Austin Green, Tori Spelling. I could recite those names in my sleep. Heck I can't identify more than four of Santa's reindeer but I can pull "James Eckhouse" out of my memory any time. George and I were twelve when 90210 first aired. I recall George being super duper excited for the show while I was still very loyal to Tailspin. This pretty much tells you about our relative maturity levels at that age. I swore I would watch every episode of a throwaway show featuring characters from The Jungle Book while George was about to launch into the world of fictional but oh we so wish it was real high school.

A few episodes in, a guy friend happened to be over and we made him watch 90210 with us. Jimmy asked me afterward, "So you watch this show because of the girls?" That question stunned me. I watched the show because I liked seeing male-female twins featured on television, I watched the show because Brenda and Dylan were so meant for each other, I watched the show because Brandon was a good guy, I watched the show to study Dylan and Brandon's relationship. At no point was I aware that teen males were supposed to watch 90210 because of the hot girls on-screen. It was the end of my innocence.

"Yeah, um I think that Andrea is kind of cute. Definitely."

That's partly why tomorrow is going to be amazing. Bill Simmons and Matthew Berry, who both work for ESPN, are grown men who know more about 90210 than probably ninety percent of females out there. They are my heroes and I can't wait to hear what they'll have to reminisce about. If you miss their epic podcast you're going to be very sorry. Plus I'll need people to talk to about it afterwards. Plus maybe I want to have a 90210 viewing party while I'm hopped up on Percocet.

And while there may have been some hidden shame in watching 90210 in the Nineties with my twin sister, I'm proud to say here, now, that it's made me who I am today. Without George's endless (girl) pop culture obsessions, I would not be up on 90210, Melrose Place, New Kids on the Block, and everything else that defines who I am today. You think I would be writing books about shopping and celebrities and dramas without her influence? Of course not!

So thanks George/Brenda, thanks.

The Big One

Listening to: A River Valentine, "Next to You." I heard a snippet of this while watching My Life as Liz and just had to find it. I mean, the first few lines are: "When I wake up in the morning / And my breath just stinks so fresh / How you still think I'm beautiful / Even when my hair's a mess." Also, even though the show is sort of a fabricated sham, it's pretty great and I slalomed through all nine Liz episodes in short order.

From the network that brought you "The Secret Life of the American Teenager," it's the best new show on television, Huge! For the record, I have a friend who actually watches The Secret Life of the American Teenager, mostly when she's home sick from work as a high powered lawyer. It's her shameful little secret. I haven't seen much of Secret Life but the title alone makes it probably watch worthy.

I wonder what the new TGIF is now. You remember TGIF right? Four half hour comedies with the tentpoles being Family Matters and Step by Step? (By the way, I had no idea that TGIF was supposed to mean "Thank Goodness It's Funny.") George and I used to get so excited to start our weekend right with some light laughs, before we were forced to go to Chinese school and other lame things the next few days. Maybe TGIF was the entertainment highlight of our lives. I know, don't judge us; We weren't born in this country. Also, if you need to rewatch the Urkel Dance, it's right here.

Somehow I doubt kids nowadays sit around on Friday nights awaiting programming of any sort. I can't imagine why they would need to with everything online and cell phones and social lives already kicking in by middle school. Sometimes I forget to avoid the local strip mall on weekend evenings and end up getting slammed by 12-16 year olds just hanging out around the movie theater. There are so many of them and they all act so cool and with it, like their Friday night is going to be better than my Friday night. They're probably right actually, come to think of it.

Anyway, so I don't know who stays in to watch ABC Family but it would be a shame if you aren't slotting Huge into your DVR.

Winnie Holzman, the genius writer behind My So Called Life -- she also did the musical book version of Wicked -- is in charge of this show. She's co-producing and co-writing Huge with her daughter, Savannah Dooley. For those of you who don't know MSCL, well, we probably shouldn't be friends anyway. But if you were a fan, you'll be glad to note that Huge has the same mix of intelligent humor, wonderfully poignant moments, and overall tartness/painfulness that made MSCL work so well. While I don't see Huge becoming iconic like MSCL, it's so much better after just one episode than 90% of the stuff on TV already. Bonus move: casting the Hoff's daughter, Hayley, as one of the leads.

One of the Huge characters adds the slow "like" in-between most of his words, a very Rickey thing to do. I'm excited for more MSCL nods while watching the show. Another of those nods so far is Paul Dooley, who played Patty's overbearing and judgemental father, and has nearly the exact same role this time around. Sidenote: I saw Tom Irwin, who played Angela's dad on MSCL, in a bit part in the recent Grey's Anatomy finale. I wanted to cry for him that his career had devolved to playing a cop on the worst overly dramatic show on television. Then again, it's not like MSCL ran long enough to give any of the participants financial success or much of a follow up career. I mean, where's Rayanne been? Sigh. AJ Langer I miss you.

Anyway, get ready to kick back Mondays at nine to watch Huge with me. Or we'll just watch it separately online whenever we have time or whatever. Appointment television is so two decades ago.

Refreshing Spritzer

Listening to: Late Night Alumni, "What's in a Name."

For the past week I've been playing this iPhone trivia game called QRANK because you know I love me some trivia. Once a day you get twenty questions and you answer fifteen of them as quick as possible. What's cool is that many of the questions are very of the moment, as in literally yesterday's news. QRANK describes itself as a social quiz addiction and I can confirm that it is addicting. My new life goal is to become number one in the nation for just a single day. I'll have to start by conquering the local and then state rankings though. So far I've been able to reach number three in my area but that hasn't been enough to take me to where I want to go. It takes about 8000+ points to hit the top of the charts on a weekday (much less on a weekend) and I hope cannons or fireworks go off when I become number one.

I've given up being number one in the world of chess. In fact, my chess game has slipped so far that I can't even beat my friends anymore. I read once that the strange thing about chess is that even as a child, you kind of know your limits. Young basketball players dream of the NBA and can keep that hope alive for awhile but in chess it's pretty much prodigies or bust. I guess I can finally admit defeat. Still, I like reading Gambit, the New York Times chess blog.

And if you're still playing We Rule (reviewed here by me), you're a sucker because past level twenty or so, it's just a waste of time. The game has so much potential but it's just not happening fast enough for me. I'm out until they can really expand it with some social capabilities. My final kingdom will live on like this.

While I'm at it, our MTV Challenge fantasy league just concluded and my friend HT is the repeat champion. Do you understand how difficult this is? It would be like the Celtics wiping the floor with the Lakers ten out of twelve times in the Finals. Oh wait, that wasn't actually that hard. So really, what HT did is actually uber-historic.

Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Listening to: Two Door Cinema Club, "What You Know" and "Something Good Can Work." These boys from Northern Ireland rocked it out for us last week. After waiting hours for them to get on-stage at 330 Ritch, they zipped through every song on their album in about thirty minutes, few few stops and just pure intensity. Phew. They sounded absolutely fantastic in person and the lead singer's voice seems fake but is very real. If that makes any sense. Their debut studio album, "Tourist History," is nearly all standout hits. Seriously, listen to it all.

Okay, I've been thinking about this for awhile now, so feel free to nod your head vigorously and agree absolutely. My theory is that any particular sustained social group with alpha males has to contain two of them. This is in contrast to a group with alpha females, of which only one can exist at any time. If you don't know what an alpha anyone is, you should probably skip this post. Let's start with a few examples to whet the appetite before I go into why I think this dual sun system exists.

The classic double alpha male relationship is 90210, with Brandon and Dylan. I can't believe I have to say this but obviously I mean, the original Beverly Hills 90210. If you were born in the 90's, wipe that confused look off your face. The other super obvious two alpha male pairing is Saved by the Bell's Zack and Slater. All of them are popular, good looking, and equally capable of attracting friends and romantic interests. They are also generally friends with each other. Of course, these duos can't be the same type of alpha male. Brandon is the clean cut classically cute guy, while Dylan is the bad boy through and through. And while some might argue that Zack is the sole alpha male in the universe of Saved by the Bell, I contend that the show was skewed through Zach's perspective. Slater, with his muscle bound charm, was definitely a co-alpha male. There can't be two of the same alpha males in the kingdom; they have to be complementary or at least a little different.

Think about all the other TV series and sitcoms where this trope is true. Melrose Place had Billy and Jake. Gossip Girl with Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald. The O.C.'s Ryan and Seth. Barney and Ted of How I Met Your Mother. Dawson and Pacey (both more beta-alpha males). And the newest contribution to the cause, Finn and Puck from Glee. There's a ton more of course, but I've only watched so much television in my life. I'm sure you can do better.

One thing that might alert you to the presence of twin alpha males: girls are attracted to both but for entirely different reasons. This season of MTV's Challenge features the rivalry between Kenny and Wes, who have a complicated history that involves a shared ex-girlfriend. On this new season, a Fresh Meat contestant lusts openly for both. She can't decide if she likes the beautiful Kenny or the charismatic Wes better. While they are vying for control of the house (they are not friends), they are also trying to out-do each other for the attention of the females. Classic double alpha males, and in a totally realistic setting!

So now why does this double alpha male thing happen? Let's first explore why in a typical social group only one alpha female girl can dominate. Actually we don't need to explore anything. I know it's a huge generalization but it's true, two alpha females will butt heads. Alpha females don't get along well with each other and in the cases where they do (Galinda and Elphaba) there's still a distinct one-two hierarchy. For the most part, having two alpha females means there's a splintering coming into their own separate circles.

The difference between the alpha males is that they can thrive in competition against each other. It's almost preferable to have someone to challenge and measure themselves against. Zach and Slater are both equally capable of leading their own packs around -- in this case, just poor old Screech -- but they need to measure and antagonize each other in order to achieve higher. Losing a few battles doesn't bother them as much as it motivates. And as for the other guys, the ones who aren't the alpha males, there's a distinct advantage to having two head honchos.

See, there can be groups with just one alpha male -- Brody of Laguna Beach -- but that isn't a social group as much as a pecking order. Having just one alpha male means everyone else is a follower; this scenario usually happens when one guy is a big star. If you're Lebron James or Vince from Entourage, you don't have an alpha male partner. But in real social circles, other guys just don't like this setup. Who the hell wants to hang out under the thumb of the same guy all the time? When I subjugate myself, I'd prefer to have a choice dammit.

It's not fun when the same guy is always the smartest, the best looking, the coolest, the richest, the whatever-ist. Having two alpha males means that at least occasionally there's a different winner. That's enough to give other guys the hope that if they rise in status and defeat one of the pre-existing alphas, they can rise to the top. And even if no challengers to the throne ever emerge, at least the two star system ensures some balance in the order of things.

So that's my theory: Most of the time, if there's an alpha male in the group, there has to be another. What do you think? Totally off track or right on? And if I'm right, is it because the public has consumed too much 90210 and Saved by the Bell and we're just emulated what we see on television, or were the show's producers geniuses for tapping into a fundamental social force?

I know there are doubters of this theory already, so feel free to speak up. Until then, I'm gonna stick with it and look around at social groups to see if this actually applies as much as I think it does. I feel like this is theoretically sound but hey, I've been known to be wrong from time to time. Occasionally.

We Had a Time

The scene about two weeks ago. My friend and I are emailing, doing some debriefing after our recent Tahoe trip. She then forwards me this thing for a Glee red carpet event and asks if I want to come. It's on a Monday, it's in Los Angeles (I was in San Francisco), and while I'm a huge fan of Glee, going down for a random weekend event seemed irresponsible. See, doubters of the world, I have an adult side and that was him doing the serious talk. "Oh, I'd love to go but I just have too much going on. It sounds super fun but I'll have to pass." I felt strong, I felt mature, I felt like a mature man for resisting temptation.

An hour later, my normal (much less adult) brain took over and was like, "Hey stupid, when are you going to go to another Glee party? They're the hottest thing right now. They just dropped on the cover of Rolling Stone, they are going to the White House and Oprah. Go you idiot!" I called my friend to ask if she was sure the cast was going to be there. Of course they were she replied, this was their spring premiere event. "Great, because I already bought the ticket." See, my normal self is impulsive as all hell and I got the ticket in a rush, before confirming the spot was still open. Luckily

Next question: What does one wear to a premier party? After a day of shopping and much fretting -- the details of which I won't bore you with -- I had my outfit ready. And by outfit I meant something fancier than my normal hoodie and jeans. I even put on black shoes, yes, actual leather black shoes. On Sunday night it started pouring so I was fearful that the event would suffer from bad weather. Just my luck I thought, to have it rain on my parade -- well, technically their parade, but whatever.

Somehow we arrived at Chateau Marmont a bit early, zipping from Santa Monica to West Hollywood in record time. There was like no traffic at six o'clock on a workday. Los Angeles traffic parted for us and we arrived before they were even letting the non-press folk in. The one time I'm not late to an event and we were tryinig to get there fashionably on time. A word about Chateau Marmont. Located on Sunset Boulevard, the Chateau is famous because celebrities reside and party there. In Exclusively Chloe, I had Chloe-Grace and Rachelle go to a happening spot in Hollywood and named the place "Maison" (page 75) in honor of Chateau Marmont. Of course I'd never visited Marmont before so I only did research via the Internets. To actually go to Marmont was another reason to fly my ass down. I mean, hypothetically this could be a write off right? I'm flying to LA to research the celeb life! Ha, just kidding auditors, just kidding.

Oh, before attending this thing I did as much online research as possible. I prepared for this like it a SAT II Subject Test. I looked up everyone's previous acting history, brushed up on their real names, read their Wikipedia histories, found out how everyone was, and thought of things I could bring up in case of conversation emergency. Lynn wasn't sure what sort of access we'd have to the cast but if they happened to want to chat, I wanted to be fully prepped. I might have even been ready with some of their mom's names. (Thanks Oprah!)

When they let us in a few minutes after seven, Lynn and I positioned ourselves at a prime location in the middle of the outdoor area. A few guests milled around but it was still mostly staff. We sipped on our Glee themed cocktails -- we started with "Cheerios" -- and munched on appetizers. I know I generally photograph and moblog the crap out of everything but I had decided beforehand that I wasn't going to be one of those people. Not tonight. I wanted to act like, you know, I go to the Chateau on the regular. The whole night I only pulled out my phone to tweet a bit and to check the time. That's right, I tried to play it cool. Plus, even though I secretly freak out when I see anyone mildly famous, I don't like asking them for pictures or autographs. They're famous, they want to be left alone, I can respect that.

Half an hour in, as we were talking about our favorite characters and who we were hoping to see, Finn walks in. No fanfare. He was just hanging out at the buffet line, picking up some food. The one thing I was most interested in finding out this night was how tall everyone was. I'd heard actors and actresses are generally shorter than you'd imagine. I'd been told Finn was six four. From our vantage point, he seemed pretty tall but later I walked near him. Six two, max. A lady sitting with us had commented earlier on how nice Cory Monteith's skin was, observed from a time she met him during an American Idol event. My goal list immediately grew to include asking Finn how he kept his face so pore-free and what product he used. Unfortunately for you readers and for me, I never found out. In fact, I never talked to any of the Glee people.

I know, I know, lame. But I really don't like talking to people when they are sort of forced to talk to you. Everyone was uniformly nice and awesome but I mostly wanted to just observe their interactions. After Finn came in, the rest of the cast started appearing everywhere. Oh hi principal guy. Hi guy with the huge Jew-fro who stalks Rachel. Hi background minorities who I hope will get bigger roles soon. There were only a few hundred people at the party so it never got crowded and was very casual. Just some fans, producers, press, and people associated with Glee. I tried to not keep my head on swivel and succeeded for the most part, but I was keenly aware of where the Glee folk were at all times.

Overall it felt like attending a wedding with a dozen brides. Being famous means people are watching you all the time and as a guest and spectator, I found myself just watching Mr. Schuester, Kurt, Sue Sylvester, or Tina as they walked around and did their thing. I was most excited to see Chris Colfer and he suddenly appeared behind my chair, leaning an arm over and touching my jacket slung over the back. Mission accomplished! Famous people emit attention heat, as everyone in the room kind of watches them out of the corner of their eye. And by everyone I mean me.

In my dream of dreams, I'd have wanted to tell the Glee cast about the music game (rules explained in this post, about halfway down), and then force them to play it. I knew there was no chance of this happening but it would have been amazing. I'd make Quinn and Rachel captains and let them pick the teams. The word I would have given them would have obviously been "star." I wonder if real singers and people like playing games when they would obviously be amazing at it. Or if the Glee cast ever go karaoke together. Or is being on the show basically like a giant karaoke session?

I lost my shit when Idina Menzel showed up. I was talking to Lynn and she suddenly started waving to someone behind me. I turn around and Taye Diggs is waving at her. I didn't even realize it was Taye Diggs because I figured it was someone we knew, that's how casually Lynn was saying hello. That started our night of waving at people like we were old friends. Lynn waved at Sue Sylvester a few minutes later, and the wonderful Jane Lynch auto-waved back before doing a comedic double take and basically thinking, "Why am I waving to those people, I don't know them..."

I had told another friend earlier that I was willing to break my vow of no picture taking only if Idina Menzel showed up. I mean, I've been such a huge fan since forever and I even flew to New York to try to catch her before she left Wicked. That didn't really work out but here Idina was, just a few feet away. And Taye Diggs was Mr. Cool, just sitting on a chair checking his phone. Tragically, they left before we mustered up the courage to wander over. I guess I'm just never meant to say hi to Idina.

There was one other person we saw that had us all geeked out. Early on, I noticed this Asian dude, chilling, standing and smoking by himself. "Man that guy looks crazy familiar. Do I know him from somewhere?" Lynn came back from the restroom at that moment and she had just spotted him too. "Is that?" "Yes it is..." The guy was Jon M. Chu! The director of Step Up 2 and the absolute genius behind The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. He was there with Harry Shum Jr., Glee cast member (The Other Asian) and amazing dancer and choreographer. Needless to say, Lynn and I were wow-ed out. Later in the night, we got a chance to talk to Jon and asked when LXD was releasing. "Soon," Jon said, "very soon." Chu was seriously laid back and super down to Earth. I told him to go to Ippudo in New York. I gotta push good ramen spots to everyone, even if clearly they don't need my help. Ippudo is that great. Jon was really gracious and personable and now I owe him two smokes. But maybe we're both quitting.

We also met Shum's girlfriend, actress and dancer Shelby Rabara. She was super nice and spoke about her experiences as an Asian-American in Hollywood. For the record, Shelby was also wearing the greatest dress and earrings combo and I wish I could find a picture so you could agree a hundred thousand percent. Lynn and I were also hoping to watch Shum dance and we sort of followed him into the interior bar area, where the DJ was playing some great music. Upon entering, we were greeted with the sight of half the cast members dancing and grooving in a little circle -- yes, apparently even celebrities dance in circles, not just Asians -- led by Matthew Morrison, who was teaching someone a slide step. Of course we had to sort of bop around with them and we were like "Man, we wish OUR dance friends were here (we'd dub ourselves the League of Average Dancers, the dreaded LAD) and then totally battle the Glee cast." This was clearly a highlight of our night.

While most of the cast members were hanging out, just walking around and stuff, it seemed like Dianna Agron, Lea Michele, and Cory were tasked with sticking to the main area and talking to people. Both Dianna and Lea were in incredible dresses. They were constantly being engaged and talked to and I can only imagine how tired they must be. They've had events all week long leading up to tonight's premiere episode and if doing one wedding is tough, these people have been running the PR gauntlet every night. But I'm sure they're happy to do it because Glee is such a huge success. I wondered if the casts from My So Called Life or Freaks and Geeks ever had parties like this in their honor. Shut down after just one season, I'd imagine they never got huge in time for the studio to back them and throw such an event. That's so sad right? Imagine doing this amazing show and then not seeing each other again. I mean, look at this picture of Angela and Jordan reunited. So wonderful.

Okay I'm gonna wrap up this monster post and get to packing. It's back to San Francisco tomorrow. I'm still giddy over Glee, even though I woke up with the hugest headache. Don't drink sugary drinks and suck on rock candy swizzle sticks kids. Instant hangover. And of course, thanks Lynn for bringing me!

Also, here are some fun links: an article and photos from the party, Harry Shum Jr. and Dianna Agron's Tumblrs, shumbodynamedharry and felldowntherabbithole. A whole bunch of the cast Twitter too and don't think I wasn't checking them throughout the night. Oh right, and the Glee episode is on right now. Time to go watch.

Been there, done that, messed around

Listening to: La Roux, "Armour Love." I think Bulletproof is their big song but I think I like Armour Love best. Then again, the whole album is kinda great.

When NKOTB released "Games" I thought they were saying "Oh, ee, oh, oh, oh, gangs, gangs, gangs, gangs, gangs." I saw these five tough looking Boston guys and thought, "Oh yeah, they are singing an anti-gangs song, definitely. Because they know about the streets." In my defense, English was not my first language and I was pop culturally retarded at the time. Now I know the difference between a gang and a game and I'm here to tell you about two new ones I'm currently playing.

Remember last year when I started up a MTV Challenge: Ruins 2 fantasy league? Well it ended with me finishing a solid third (out of ahem, five) even though my team was filled with super boring people. I did get to watch in awe/shock as Shauvon's breast implants popped and she was forced home, and then Brad gave me some nice late season drama during an alcohol fueled tirade and fight. But that eliminated himself and my number one draft pick, Darrell. Anyway, I've been eagerly anticipating April because MTV is back with a new challenge, Fresh Meat 2! Twenty six contestants pair up and fight their way to three hundred thousand dollars.

But that's just small stakes compared to what I'm competing for: pride, honor, and a non-existent medal. Yes, we've got another fantasy season drafted up and ready to go. This time around we've got six owners and the next few Wednesdays should be mighty exciting indeed. If you're watching Fresh Meat too, follow along at Ain't Too Proud to Watch! And don't be all like "But I'm so above MTV, blah blah." MTV is the truth and I won't have it any other way. Unless you believe Netflix Instant Queue is the truth, in which case we can still get along.

The other game I'm all excited about is Ngmoco's "We Rule." Near the tail end of last year, my friend Des got us all hooked on Papaya Farm and despite my protestations and mockery of all that is Farmville-related, I find myself still checking on my vegetables on the daily. Papaya Farm added an animals ranch and my sole goal in life for awhile was to get a super panda and some special dinosaurs. These games have no skill involved and they're so lame but somehow P-Farm captured all of our attentions and we have this long running email chain -- I think we're on our fourth centithread -- talking about stuff like when we get caught in embarrassing situations harvesting. Ameer contributed this gem just last week: "At a concert once, some girl looked over my shoulder and said 'nice dog'... it was between acts I swear."

We recently confirmed our suspicions that the makers of Papaya Farm were Chinese (bad grammar, constant misspellings, way too smart at staying one step ahead of us and feeding new things into the addiction pipeline) and I needed to get us out. But we didn't want to give up our social gaming so I went on the hunt for something new. That turned me onto We Rule, which is a very similar game but has the added bonus of just having been released and showing some promise.

My favorite aspect of this game so far is that you can rearrange your buildings on the fly. It's like being an architect and landscape artist. You can also have buildings that produce wares for your friends to purchase. The game isn't perfect (or that stable yet) but there's room to grow. Won't you join us? Or um, save yourself a few months of your life and avoid this game at all costs. As for me, I'll be thematically building my little plot to resemble Gaudi's Barcelona, or creating a wonderful maze of trees, or perhaps a university campus, complete with little medieval school children escorted by their dragon overlords to arithmetic class. The possibilities are endless. Unlike your respect for me, which probably just nosedived.

The Nontourage

I was just lamenting the other day that for all the years my friends and I have been living in San Diego, none of us know any doormen to get us into bars or clubs for free, or to just skip the line. Sure, you can get on a sign up sheet and stand in the VIP line (a total farce since this means everyone with an email address is "very important") but nothing feels better than just waltzing right in after saying "hi" to the doorman. How do I know this? Because in New York, my friend Sam Sneed does the door for all sorts of exclusive parties and events and in his generosity, he lets us feel cool and just slide on in.

Well Sam, as the multi-talented person that he is, has been stirring up his creative juices for awhile now and here's a preview of his newest project. It's the trailer for his online mini-series, "The Gatekeepers," about being a doorman in New York City. If you've ever wondered why you couldn't get into the most happening places, then this will probably reveal the answer. Of course, if we've been going out together, then most likely my aversion to wearing anything non-sneaker got us rejected. Or maybe my fashion backwardness. Or maybe... it could be so many things. I guess the point is to just not go out with me if you need to ensure access. Don't worry, I won't take it personally if you ditch me. We can still be friends.

Episodes of The Gatekeepers, a launch for their web site, and much more is coming soon. For updates, follow Sam on his Twitter.

Like an Answered Prayer

Listening to: Madonna, "Lucky Star." The dancer on the left in the video is Madonna's younger brother, Christopher. They're on the outs now. But not because of his dancing. I don't think.

A few weeks ago, while one of the NFL playoff games was going on, I was flipping around the movie channels and came upon Madonna's 1991 documentary, "Truth or Dare." I have some pretty strong feelings about MJ's recent documentary and let's just say that Truth or Dare is fifty thousand times better than This Is It. Unintentional comedy aside, Madonna's doc wins in every head-to-head matchup. She is a much more charismatic star, you get the sense that she's a real person, the performances are awesome, and she's both super bitchy and vulnerably sweet. It's fantastic.

I've never been a student of Madonna but I went to the one person who absolutely is: Lilly. She sat me down, made me some coffee, provided me with delicious home baked cookies, and threw on The Immaculate Collection. This must-have DVD of her early music videos can be yours for $13.99 on Amazon, I just checked. Lilly then proceeded to drop four Madonna biographies onto the couch and I started reading.

Do you realize Madonna has dated Basquiat, Prince, and John F. Kennedy Jr. (among many others obviously)? It never occured to me that Basquiat and her were contemporaries. I found out so much about Madge in my few hours of research. I read about her childhood in Michigan, about her dropping out of college to pursue a dance career in New York, and all about her subsequent rise to fame. Needless to say, I've gained newfound respect for everything she's done -- and continues to do. Sidenote: I have danced upon the same stage Madonna once did, on the shiny tarmac of the Power Center for the Performing Arts. I know, you're totally impressed.

Basically while I have the resource that is Lilly nearby, I will be working hard to educate myself and make a top five favorite Madonna songs list. Plus I need to decide which era Madonna I like best. 1984 Madonna? Evita Madonna? Vogue Madonna? Dick Tracy Madonna? Contemporary Madonna? There are so many!

In a related story, Lilly and her people have started a Trashy Celebrity Memoirs book club. I've yet to attend a meeting but I'm always there in spirit. I feel like a Tori Spelling one is a must read. Or maybe the Sarah Palin.

The Conclusion

For the past three months I've been pushing hard for everyone I know to watch Jersey Shore. Number of converts? Three, maybe two. My friends don't listen to me, what else is new? So this is my attempt to use a public forum to tell people why they need to watch it. I mean, since it's already over and only in reruns, or in this soon to be released DVD set (which I'll obviously be getting), it's the perfect time to get everyone on board. And more importantly, the title of the DVD, "Jersey Shore: Season 1," alludes to a season two. Fantastic.

As with many great things, I initially got sucked into Jersey Shore because of a Bill Simmons' podcast. This episode is a must listen and a wonderful jumping off point for the show. In it, he and the Czar of Reality Television, Dave Jacoby, break down the cast and review the first episode. Their analysis will make your enjoyment of the show quadruple. I guarantee it. [Update: Their Jersey Shore wrap up podcast just released!]

When the promos and first two episodes aired, the hate for Jersey Shore was fantastic. All the Italian stereotyping stuff, the sponsors dropping like flies, the douchebaggery of all involved, the Snookerpunch, all of those things made it possible only to love Jersey Shore quietly, or perhaps ironically. But after those first few episodes, Jersey Shore suddenly overcame all its troubles and people started to just outright love it. Openly and with no reservations. There's a simple reason for that: the show is great.

This is the zeitgeist, and I only use that word because it's fancy and fun to say and I'm probably using it wrong. But truly, Jersey Shore is the best thing MTV has come up with since the Real World Challenges and I dare say it's even better. For one, the Challenges are getting a tad formulaic. The Jersey Shore was a breath of fresh air. The Situation himself has so many catchphrases, so many quirks, insecurities, and moments of love/hate, that he is immensely compelling as a lead character. It helps that I have a friend who is very similar to the Situation, but I think everyone can probably equate someone in their lives to Mike. I want my friend to watch this show and then turn to him and say, "This is you man. See, see?"

The thing that makes this season of Jersey Shore incredible to watch is that these people would probably be doing the exact same thing without the cameras around. There's no artifice because they pretty much already lived like they were on a reality tv show. Now that they're famous and getting five figures for appearances, that'll probably all change, but Season 1, much like the first Real World, was when it was all still real. You know?

I love how the show initially made me think I liked Sammi Sweatheart and then by the end I thought she was the most emotionally manipulative girlfriend ever and needed to be dumped, even if she was the so called pretty one. I like how I totally respected Pauly D and Ronnie the Rampaging Rhino, who are like good peoples. And Vinny, he's not just the slightly goofy, no GTL (Gym Tan Laundry) doing, slightly dorky outcast, he's completely endearing for his momma's boy values and his undercover girl game.

And J-Woww, who could have easily just been the implanted bimbo, turned out to be my favorite character with her raspy voice, Amazonian fighting spirit, and a true understanding of what it means to be a good friend. She's the "sweetest bitch you'll ever meet," not Sammi. I don't even mind that she co-opted my self appointed nickname, "Jon Wow," since she's clearly made it twenty times better and wholly unusable, which is probably a great thing. I never connected with Snooki much, even as I recognize that she was the spiritual lynchpin of the house. Of course, when she and Mike made out during that last episode, I pretty much puked. It was wrong for every reason.

And Jersey Shore has spawned so many fun things in its short life span. An entire amusement industry has sprung up around them, with sound boards, nickname generators, and Jersey Shore avatars. Plus plenty of t-shirts, towels, and paraphernalia for sale. It's also hard to not fist pump at least once when you're out a club now. Just to see who else might start doing it, or recognize the gesture. (For the record, Ronnie is the worst dancer in the house, not the best. His dancing "style" is hilarious.)

The cast has been spoof'd, de-bronzed, dressed up/down in conservative outfits, game showed to show their intelligence (or lack thereof), and made over Michael Cera. They will likely ride their fifteen minutes of fame for three and a half years, and then slip into the pit of despair, but I hope not, because I want the best for all of them. I want The Situation to change his legal name to Situation, much like the Ultimate Warrior changed his to "Warrior," in order to protect his legal rights to it. And I want him to go on motivational speech tours.

I want Jersey Shore to come back soon, because even if they are now too famous for their own good, I miss them already. And I want you all to join me in appreciating this cultural treasure because even if we have nothing else in common as friends, at least we'll have this. Thank you for your consideration.

Oh, my one enduring question -- aside from if Ronnie and Sammi are still together, and if their breakup was staged -- is wondering exactly how tall these guys are. Here's a photo of them with Rob Dyrdek, who's apparently around five seven. I met someone who went downtown to catch a Situation appearance at a club, but he was on an elevated platform and away from the masses, so the guy couldn't tell. I don't know why their height matters to me. I guess it's because in my mind these people are so much bigger than life, so Bunyan-esque in my imagination, that I need to know how I measure up.

Let the right one in

Listening to: April March, "Chick Habit." I saw Tarantino's "Death Proof" a few weeks ago and we know Quetin always chooses amazing songs. This one will stick in your head for days after just one listen.

A few years ago, Bill Simmons came up with the amazing idea to start a celebrity fantasy league. I immediately pulled a few friends together and tried it out for a summer. That experience (kind of) led to the writing of Exclusively Chloe. During our ten week trial season, we discovered that the babies of celebrities were getting just as much coverage as the celebrities themselves. For example, Sean Preston-Spears almost doubled the next closest male competitor's scores (including Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, and his own daddy, Kevin Federline). This made me think, "Hum, what will Maddox Jolie-Pitt and these other kids be like when they grow up?" That curiosity helped fuel my book.

Well, Mr. Simmons has done it again. On a recent podcast, he and his friends did a fantasy draft for MTV's newest Real World / Road Rules challenge, The Ruins. Throughout the Inferno 2, Simmons and his friend Dave Jacoby, "The Czar of Reality Television," would periodically recap the events and comment on how MTV challenges should replace hockey (or baseball) as the fourth major American sport. I agreed, wholeheartedly.

After listening to their fantasy draft, I went ahead and assembled four other MTV challenge fanatics and we're embarking on our inaugural season. We just completed our draft and I couldn't be more excited about Wednesday's new episode. Feel free to follow along because you know you are (secretly) addicted to these challenge shows too, right?

Of Demand

Listening to: New Buffalo, "Recovery."

Things I learned flipping through a recent issue of Fast Company: Experts predict that fish stocks will be overfished by 2048. The world population in 2050 will be 9 billion; it's currently at 6 billion and climbing. Forty percent of the homeless people in San Francisco have been there for less than three months. Olive Garden and Red Lobster are owned by the same parent company (Darden Restuarants) and have average check prices of $15 and $19, respectively.

In sum, I'm glad I'll be close to death when fish and space on Earth run out, I've been in SF longer than almost half the homeless in SF, and I need to go to a Red Lobster soon because it's great. I had cut all magazines out of my reading diet, focusing strictly on books and online things for awhile. However, I think I should subscribe to a few magazines again because I miss flipping through articles while brushing my teeth, making something to eat, etc. And you can learn a thing or two. Sometimes more than you wanted to know actually.

If I had a permanent address to send subscriptions to, I'd want to get: Entertainment Weekly, The New Yorker, Fast Company, Us Weekly, and Wired. A few weeks ago, when I was over at Victor and Anne's house, I was flipping through their Cook's Illustrated, which is an awesome magazine with Wall Street Journal-like pen and ink pictures. They scientifically test all sorts of cooking gadgets and have very tightly composed recipes. I don't even cook but found much of the content fascinating.

Once upon a time, I had dreams of starting my own magazine. Nowadays, I'll just happily settle for admiring others. The magazine business is under as much fire as the newspaper industry and now's not the time to start something. Or is it?

"Some of the problems that have beset music magazines are familiar from discussions about the publishing industry's woes in general: Readership's down, advertising's down, the old guard has been slow in adapting to the Internet. But like newspapers and shelter titles, music magazines have proven especially vulnerable."
-Why music magazines are dying-