02 September 2010

The Peach Pit

Watching intently: The opening credits to Beverly Hills 90210, duh. And the pilot episode opening sequence, which I don't recall. And what's with the two black guys in business suits at the 0:52 mark? They were headed into high school? I want this song for my ring tone.

In about twelve hours I'll be sitting in a dental chair getting a little surgery. Nothing serious mind you, just my annual check up to make sure that my teeth haven't completely fallen apart. I have the worst teeth in the world; I'm told it's genetic. Actually I'm told to stop eating candy but what do the experts know anyway. I'm sure studies next decade will prove that sugar actually helps maintain your enamel.

I don't really fear the dentist much, unlike most normal people, mainly because every time I go it seems like something else has fallen apart and they need to fix it. "I know you came in for a cleaning but it looks like we're gonna have to go with the double root canal. Is that okay?" My response is invariably, "Sure, whatever." It's annoying and kind of stings but you buckle down and get over it. I figure if I want to tattoo every inch of my biceps one day, it'll be good practice for my pain tolerance.

Tomorrow while I sit in that chair though, I'll be absolutely giddy. So much so that I can hardly wait for my appointment. The reason? Bill Simmons will be releasing his mega 90210 podcast and I'll have two hours of amazing goodness to tide me through the appointment. Yes, tomorrow is 9/02/10! For the only time ever in the entire history of the human world. By now you've thrown aside your work ethic and emailed your boss about a mystery sickness, so please join me in celebrating this momentous occasion. It's 90210 day!

Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Ian Ziering, Gabrille Carteris, Brian Austin Green, Tori Spelling. I could recite those names in my sleep. Heck I can't identify more than four of Santa's reindeer but I can pull "James Eckhouse" out of my memory any time. George and I were twelve when 90210 first aired. I recall George being super duper excited for the show while I was still very loyal to Tailspin. This pretty much tells you about our relative maturity levels at that age. I swore I would watch every episode of a throwaway show featuring characters from The Jungle Book while George was about to launch into the world of fictional but oh we so wish it was real high school.

A few episodes in, a guy friend happened to be over and we made him watch 90210 with us. Jimmy asked me afterward, "So you watch this show because of the girls?" That question stunned me. I watched the show because I liked seeing male-female twins featured on television, I watched the show because Brenda and Dylan were so meant for each other, I watched the show because Brandon was a good guy, I watched the show to study Dylan and Brandon's relationship. At no point was I aware that teen males were supposed to watch 90210 because of the hot girls on-screen. It was the end of my innocence.

"Yeah, um I think that Andrea is kind of cute. Definitely."

That's partly why tomorrow is going to be amazing. Bill Simmons and Matthew Berry, who both work for ESPN, are grown men who know more about 90210 than probably ninety percent of females out there. They are my heroes and I can't wait to hear what they'll have to reminisce about. If you miss their epic podcast you're going to be very sorry. Plus I'll need people to talk to about it afterwards. Plus maybe I want to have a 90210 viewing party while I'm hopped up on Percocet.

And while there may have been some hidden shame in watching 90210 in the Nineties with my twin sister, I'm proud to say here, now, that it's made me who I am today. Without George's endless (girl) pop culture obsessions, I would not be up on 90210, Melrose Place, New Kids on the Block, and everything else that defines who I am today. You think I would be writing books about shopping and celebrities and dramas without her influence? Of course not!

So thanks George/Brenda, thanks.