15 December 2010

Some day, when I'm awfully low

Listening to: Colbie Caillat, "I Want You Back." Jackson 5 covers are overdone and any highly ranked amateur can crank out a decent version. But this is one by Colbie Caillat caught my attention and it stuck with me so I had to rip it since I couldn't find the correct mp3 anywhere. It sounds like Christmas to me for some reason, how about you?

Is Facebook cool again? I feel like The Social Network gave it some cool points. I mean, if Zuckerberg can be Time's Man of the Year, then anything is possible for FB right? One of our friends, who is so against social media of any type, hopped onto Facebook and people responded like it was the second coming -- and/or the apocalypse. Facebook should add a feature where you can park a spot for your friend and then if enough people vote them in, the profile gets made, with or without their permission. Actually I'd like to just make an alternate site, Slam Book, where people talk all sorts of realness about each other and get it over with.

Then again, maybe it's only in my mind that Facebook has regained some cachet, as clearly Tweetage Wasteland's "Confession #89: 100 People I Hate on Facebook" is still one hundred thousand percent accurate. It's still fun talking about Facebook though right? I read this article from Pop Matters, "Facebook and the New Narcissism" and the whole thing is interesting, but the last paragraph rings so right.

"One of my many suspicions is that social media uses our guilt about our self-centeredness and our narcissism against us to provoke us to give them more free content. I can feel less an egomaniac by sharing, by liking, by reading others’ comments and adding my own. Interacting in these prescribed ways can feel therapeutic and benevolent without becoming overwhelming. Thus sites like Facebook play both ends against the middle, intimating that our sharing will somehow negate our inner megalomaniac while simultaneously giving it full play. It whispers to us, "No one cares about you; everyone cares about you.'"
The other night I was up until eight in the morning, and I'd inadvertently converted over to the new profile -- which I kinda hated. But you can't go back, because Facebook pushes you forward, even against your will. Especially against your will.

Unable to return to my sentimental "whatever I can get" status, I saw Alexandre Oudin's profile page featured on Europe Tech Crunch and thought it was kinda great. Seeing as I was nowhere near tired even as the sun was rising, I set off to find a wide enough photo to slice and dice ala Oudin. Turned out some person had already made a web app that creates the appropriately sized images automatically. No Photoshopping needed. This was like less than a day after Alexandre had his up. That's insane right? I didn't end up using the app, but the how-to provides both a PDF and plenty of directions.

An hour of trial and error later and voila, me dunking on my Facebook page. My friend and I both agreed: so not worth the time spent. When I woke up a full half day later to random people FBing me, I had no idea what happened. My room gets no cell phone service or Wifi, which makes it a bit of a cave. Texts, missed calls, and emails come rushing in when I roll to the living room area. It kind of gives me anxiety when I wake up in the middle of the night (day) and sometimes I feel like I should go see if I'm missing anything important. Then I roll over because hey, I'm still sleepy.

Anyway, what do you know, my lame basketball picture somehow ended up on Mashable under "10 Creative Uses for the New Facebook Profile." They even called me their favorite! So boom, my allotted fifteen minutes came and went. I read Mashable all the time but I had hoped I'd be on it for selling a start up for bazillions of dollars or something. But nope, this was it. Called "creative" by essentially stealing someone else's idea.

Shit, whatever, I'll take it. But if you want to invest or angel fund slambook.com or something, feel free to contact me so I can make Mashable again. Let's build something great to tear friendships apart shall we?

Oh and I'm not engaged to be married, despite my displayed relationship status. It's a long story but I forget that Facebook is the truthsayer, and I should be more responsible and have it reflect reality as that's how societal norms are now. Screwing around on your FB page is generally thought of as being either juvenile or criminal these days. But really, as anyone who knows me can attest, the idea that someone would willingly/publicly bind themselves legally to me for real is laughable.