29 May 2013

So Fast, So Furious

Ack consumerism! Buying stuff, is that all I talk about nowadays? Maybe. I've been using Amazon Prime for most of this calendar year so that means anything I wish for can arrive in two days flat. That is very dangerous. Very dangerous.

I've got a semi-camping trip in a few weeks, so of course I need to get a new compass, a powerful flashlight, and a paracord bracelet. What's a paracord bracelet you ask? Well, it's like a hardcore friendship bracelet that you can use for saving lives. Or stringing up laundry, whatever your needs. I'm using it to feel manly.

One of the best parts of shopping, aside from the packages arriving to your door, is doing all the research. I mean, how else would you learn about the difference between zinc-carbon and alkaline batteries? Well, a new site, The Sweethome, focuses on household items and gives you their best recommendation. (The parent site, The Wirecutter is a fine resource as well.) Learning about the best nail clippers, the best laundy detergent, the best lightbulb, this is the kind of stuff I live for. I mean, even if I'll never own a home to put a Nest in, I still really want one.

Also, since I just signed up for New York's much anticipated/maligned bike share program, I needed to go online shopping for some safety gear. Two little lights to alert drivers so they can slow down before inevitably running me over, possibly a bike helmet so my skull remains intact post-impact, and who knows what else. Health insurance? Who needs that in America today! The only thing I need are these Swrve knickers I had the foresight to buy last year. Every young man needs something between pants and shorts so manpris is the way to go, even if they cost a pretty penny. Who cares if I won't actually own a bicycle, or how poseur-y I'll look with my reflective stripe? With all my bike gear ready, I'll be set to ride in safety and style.

In addition, I am still field testing the so-called "greatest hoodie ever made." American Giant fucked up our order six ways to Sunday but my black hoodie is finally here after many months. So far I can report that the heavy cotton makes me very...warm. The quality is undeniably legit but I'm not entirely sure if I don't prefer my twenty dollar Target hoodies instead. We'll see.

Oh, and I finally got it together and signed up for Moviepass. I think I've talked about the movie subscription service before, but had hesitated on committing to it. Three months is so long right? This despite the fact that I'd long wished for exactly such a thing. With Moviepass, you can watch all the movies you want, in virtually any theater. The last few years running, I've spent like $500 annually on going to the movies. I did some sensible math and Moviepass will be a tremendous savings. Now if that damn card would arrive in the mail already, I'd be all set.

The summer of 2013 is lining up to be subscription service galore. I'll be riding around the city and then ducking into a nearby theater for an air conditioned break. And definitely a Slurpee. So get your knickers and over-qualified hoodies ready, who's with me? I'm gonna live my summer a city block at a time, stopping at every intersection to look both ways. Because that's how adults do it.
Last thing: I saw Before Midnight. Prior to watching it, I made a list of qualifications for the people and space I would see it in. See, during Before Sunset, I made the mistake of dragging a friend along who hadn't seen Before Sunrise. Throughout the film she continually made fun of Ethan Hawke's jacked up teeth and that totally took me out of the moment.

For this third film, I demanded that anybody I watched the film with remained silent. In fact, I wanted the entire theater to be silent. That meant either an early morning or late night viewing, preferably with nobody in my line of sight. I also needed any potential movie buddies to be pre-screened for absolute love of the first two films. No middle ground, it had to be L-O-V-E.

I was expecting a religious experience and I didn't want to mess up my emotional attachment to the series in any way. After satisfying all these requirements -- save for a person off to my side who actually answered their phone during the movie, like really -- I saw Before Midnight before the spoilers could get to me. Needless to say, I won't give a review here, as even a thumbs up or thumbs down would be incriminating. If you've seen Before Midnight already, we should have a discussion. I have a lot to say about it. So much.