07 October 2014

What's Real?

I'm a millionaire!...On the Hollywood Stock Exchange. I’d forgotten that I used to be on this quite a bit back when it started. The name sprung up while I was reading an article about whether or not this company called Fantex will be able to get movie stars to IPO -- similar to last year’s sports people IPOs. Curious, I logged onto hsx.com and took a look at my account. It's amazing this site is still around. I mean, what other services do I even use from 1999-2000? AOL Instant Messenger is about the only other one. Yes, I'm still on AIM, don't laugh.

Anyway, here’s my top ten of people I had major stock in: Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Gosling, Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley, Audrey Tautou, Claire Danes, Steve Buscemi, Hilary Swank, Natalie Portman, and Katie Holmes. Number eleven is Bryce Dallas Howard, whom I was sure was headed for stardom after Lady in the Water and The Village. I guess getting hitched to the M.Night Shyamalan supernova wasn't the best career move. Plus, Jessica Chastain came along and took BDH's looks lane.

"There can only be one!” That’s part of the theory as covered in July’s Grantland podcast about Rom-Com should-have-beens. One of Simmons/Morris/Litman's examples was Elisabeth Shue, who should have at least one classic rom-com to her name right? Sidenote: I just watched Cocktail for the first time a month ago and Elizabeth Shue, Elizabeth Shue!!! Also they said that Robin Wright could've been a rom-com champion, but she didn't want it.
By the way, after we watched What If a few weeks ago, I decided that I need to write a straight up rom-com. Not an indie one, or a mumbly one, or one with a supreme premise, although those are still on my to-do list. But a straight up Hollywood style rom-com with a happy ending and everything. Should be cake right? I was born for this.

Back to HSX. The five people I paid the most for were Sam Mendes ($168.81), Russell Crowe ($136.06), Bryan Singer ($120.95), The Rock ($117.08), and Natalie Portman ($114.72). I don't know what I was thinking. And the movie stars that have lost me the most money over the years? Keira Knightley, Monica Bellucci, Portman, Jennifer Connelly, and Johnny Depp. That’s basically a who’s who of my all-time celebrity Top Ten. I guess I should never invest in real stocks since I'm easily blinded by emotion and can't keep my feelings separate from my money. That and I'm not an actual millionaire.

There’s certainly room for a film-related fantasy game in my life -- I’m on Box Office Mojo way more than any non-industry person ought to be. But so far I can’t find a good one. I gave Summer Movie League a go this past summer, as well as a few other sites that use box office numbers for points, but either the website interfaces were lacking or the game rules were boring. The search continues...

Speaking of fantasy, my friend and I have been doing a bit of FanDuel's weekly football leagues. The fact that it’s real money is a bit scary, but we have hopes that one of our entries will actually come up big. With his King Midas-like gambling touch and my football knowledge, we'll soon be top of the charts. That's the theory anyway. It's been more fun than real fantasy football, that's for sure. This is what happens when you have Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice on your teams. Your fantasy season is over by the second week of September.

A lot of people are (rightfully) quitting football these days. And if it weren't for my long running leagues, I would probably do it too. The NFL represents just about everything I dislike about American culture. And really, fantasy MTV and GoT have brought me so much more joy recently. But who would I be without fantasy football? Would people even recognize me anymore? Would I even recognize myself? These are my existential questions. What are yours?