Man vs Ink

Admittedly, this is a long shot but Lilly put my good name out there when one of her contacts was exploring casting options for the host of a television show that explores international tattoo cultures. They're looking for writers who write about or engage in travel, international culture, and adventure.

I wonder if having several smallish tattoos would disqualify me from consideration. I mean, I doubt I would have the tattoo credibility to be allowed into these secret cultures with anything resembling credibility. For a moment though, it sounded like an excellent oppurtunity for me to get my breakout role.

I mean, I'm engaging, inquisitive, earnest and male; which were some of their qualifications. Sure they probably want an older gentleman with a sense of adventure -- like Anthony Bourdain -- but casting a 22-year old (looking) Asian would probably bring in millions of viewers. Nothing would bring more street cred to the show than a slightly OCD, sprig looking, tiny tattoo sporting Chinese boy. Nothing.

The show will be looking to follow the host on "a journey to some potentially dangerous places." I was trying to imagine what would qualify as dangerous to them but decided that anything more exotic than the local Target or Souplantation would be pretty risky to me. I imagine I'd have to rough it a bit too; which probably doesn't mean sleeping on the ground of your friend's apartment.

All in all, I'd say I'm ready to risk my life to explore some tattoo cultures. So, History Channel, hurry up and call me so we can get started on this thing. Bring on the pain; we've got a world to explore and I've got skin real estate to spare.