The Percolator

Listening to: Nina Nastasia, "Our Day Trip." It's not often you hear "amble" in things anymore. I like it.

Someone told me that you can get hypnosis treatment for low self-esteem. That struck me as odd. How can hypnosis do that? Is self-esteem really as simple to cure as say, smoking or drinking? I'd imagine that it would involve making your mind think that you're a great person when you're usually used to judging yourself too harshly or something. And what would happen if you increased your self-esteem too much? Would you then become a cocky jerk that continually thought you were better than you were? Clearly I need to explore the powers of hypnosis a little more. What else can it do?

This past weekend, I attended a fantastic Indian wedding. There were lots of ceremonies and events and many costume changes. Girls in traditional Indian outfits look beautiful. All that silk and shiny jewelry. Now I understand why the wedding in "Rachel Getting Married" was Indian-themed. Everyone looks amazing.

For the few days leading up to wedding, I was in a state of mild anxiety because I'd agreed to dance for it. Generally, when we have giant wedding reunions with this set of college friends, there's always a throw back dance performance. I'd never done one before because, well, I can't really dance. However, seeing as this would be the last marriage in our group for the foreseeable future, I thought it would be time to break out the dancing shoes. Unfortunately, even though I was only in a tiny part of the dance, I couldn't pick things up all that well. Which was okay, because a celebration doesn't demand perfection but nobody wants to be the guy sticking out and messing up.

I really wanted to do this dance because most of the people performing were friends I'd never danced with before. I always enjoyed the practices more than the performances and so wanted to relive it for a weekend. With the help of a friend who can actually dance, I learned the ten eight counts and prepared to embarrass (yet challenge) myself. It's been nearly ten years since I've had to do anything semi-coordinated to music. I'd forgotten how slowly I learn. I mean, I knew I'd lost a few steps but this was ridiculous. We used to have to learn entire dances in a week and then perform them.

The day before leaving for Michigan, George caught me standing in front of her mirror, trying desperately to make sure my arms were straight, or my moves were on time, or something. I was a sweat box and my heart was beating way too fast for such little exertion. I should really stop judging and criticizing all the dancers on ABDC and SYTYCD because well, I just shouldn't.

Overall, the dance went well. I ended up totally missing out on my goal (to finish on the same beat as everyone else) but the rush of the thirty seconds I was out there obscured all that. You'd think time slows to a crawl on the stage but it doesn't. Not at all. Under pressure, your mind goes blank, the music speeds up, and it's muscle memory that can save you. Unfortunately, my muscle memory didn't do any such thing. The good news is we were dressed in snazzy bowties and slender suspenders. So that was fun.

If I were a DJ, I'd be sure to switch the track often. I don't understand how someone can call themselves a party DJ when all they do is slip a song on and let it run. Nothing annoys me more. I went with a friend to a Yelp Elite party the other night and the DJ was amazing (Yes, I am talking about this only to say that I went to a Yelp Elite party and now I feel special). All old school stuff but remixed up and just all sorts of wonderful. He would play each song for no longer than a minute and generally cued up only the choruses. That's how I'd want to DJ, like a music freak with ADD. I'm going to get this guy for my birthday party.