Finally, and Good Riddance

What were you doing when LeBron re-ascended the throne? I was surrounded by like twenty TVs in a previously raucous Golden State bar. Oh how the Cleveland fans emerged from their silent bubble after Kyrie hit the game clinching three over Steph. Fifty-two years between championships is basically a lifetime, so I guess I’m happy for Believeland.

Up until GM7, I was cheering for the Warriors, but after a piss poor GM6, I switched allegiances and wanted LeBron to win. Mainly to just get him out of the headlines, and have this “Cleveland hasn’t won…” storyline out of the way. Make no mistake, I have no love for the Cavaliers. I mean, I hate/fear LeBron, wasn’t sold on Kyrie as a star, pray every day the Celtics don’t trade for Kevin Love, and basically have cheered against the Cavs for years. But if it takes LeBron making the greatest comeback in Finals history to get him out of my life, so be it. Congrats King!

Trying to watch big sports games in New York is always an exercise in scrambling. Most people don’t have big enough apartments, or a large TV, to invite people over. And since I hate sports bars, my ideal setup is just to have a handful of people in a quiet space. For example, I watched GM5 at my friend’s hotel lounge down in Tribeca. It was just three of us, with the occasional stop in from some of the staff. The television was large and the room was quiet, it was glorious.

Here’s where I watched all the games for the 2016 NBA Finals.

• GM1: Landed into JFK airport, flipped on League Pass, and watched the Warriors dismantle the Cavs from the back of a cab. Then turned it off to get Korean chicken wings in the East Village.
• GM2: Went to a friend of a friend’s apartment in Flatiron after watching The Nice Guys, and ate pizza and Italian food for a home style viewing experience.
• GM3: After going to last week’s AAWW thing, I watched the first half at a Five Guys on my phone and then went to meet my friend cross town. She was watching it with a bunch of her younger co-workers, who were streaming off an illegal Reddit stream. Also, there were bongs.
• GM4: Trekked out to Long Island City for my friend’s combo pizza and watch party. Cleveland lost and we thought the series was basically over. No surprise: Pizza parties are the best!
• GM5: The aforementioned hotel lounge. So quiet we could’ve taken a nap. Ate McDonald's cookies to power up for the second half. Both us and the Warriors petered out by the end.
• GM6: A Cleveland blow out as I sat around at a Times Square area bar, trying to squint across the room at the televisions. USA was playing Ecuador too, and half the bar was split between basketball and soccer. Not ideal.
• GM7: Reserved a table for eight at Campeon in Union Square. There are almost TVs on every square inch of the walls. The place was packed, the volume turned up high, and DJs spun during commercial breaks. It was like we were at the game. For a big sports event, this was the perfect viewing experience. High recommend.

So yeah, that’s how you gotta scramble around if you’re devoid of a regular spot to watch, and also don’t like to be around rowdy drunk people. At first I was thinking how this long ass series was ruining my New York social life, but upon consideration, the games did provide a good reason to gather random groups of people together and hang out. Now I guess we'll have to just focus on Game of Thrones... Until that ends too.

This coming Thursday I’m attending the NBA Draft at Barclays Center. While tickets seem overpriced for something that would be far better to watch on TV, this is a rare opportunity. The Celtics have the #3 overall pick, plus two more first-rounders and four second-rounders. We’ll be in the action all night! Plus, for a mere $50, who knows when I’ll get a chance to go to a NBA draft again?

For the record, assuming Danny Ainge doesn’t trade away our top pick, I hope he swings for the fences and drafts Dragan Bender. Boom or bust baby, boom or bust! And if Ainge somehow trades that #3 pick for Jahlil Okafor I'm gonna cry.

The State of the Celtics

I'm watching the Celtics play in their forty-second game of the 2015-6 season, officially the NBA’s halfway point. They started the game versus the Mavericks shooting one for fifteen and accumulating a grand total of two points with about four minutes to go in the first quarter. That’s not good. Since I’m watching this after the fact, I know the Celtics fight back and take this game to overtime, but they still lose by five. Overall they’re 22-20, sitting in the eighth and last slot for a playoff appearance. It's hard to tell if they’re overachieving or underachieving. It's time for a Celtics check-in!

Basically if I’ve been home alone this year, a rarity, I’ve got an NBA game on. League Pass is dominating my life and I just enjoy having a game on in the background, even though I’m usually doing something else. I’ve seen maybe half of the Celtics games, the most in awhile, and I’m here to give you my thoughts about them. Because I’m sure you care too! (Okay, I’m mostly writing this post for my sister to read. "Hi George!")

The Coach
It’s weird when your team’s best asset is its coach. Brad Stevens is only thirty-nine years old and is generally hailed as a basketball genius. He’s been able to create a competitive team out of an ever shifting blend of bit parts and castoffs.
 Almost every player that has come through the Celtics during Stevens’ reign seems to perform better than expected. Opposing players praise Stevens all the time and he recently took a game off to visit a former player on his death bed. He’s got brains and heart, and he’s going to be Boston’s coach for a long long time. Danny Ainge has made a lot of amazing moves over his tenure but hiring Stevens three years ago was probably the most prescient of all. Now to find Stevens an actual superstar to work with, alà Popovich / Duncan or Carlisle / Dirk.

• The rise of Brad Stevens and his starless Celtics (2015)
• Brad Stevens' story isn't storybook (2013)

The Guards
The undeniable strength of this version of the Celtics is the three guards, Isaiah Thomas, Avery Bradley, and Marcus Smart. Thomas is only 5’9” but our best offensive weapon. We acquired him in a mid-season trade last season and he sparked us to a surprise playoff run. He’s averaging 21.8 points and 6.6 assists this season, and basically if he isn’t scoring then the Celtics are in trouble. If you watch the Celtics games, Thomas has the ball in his hands 80% of the time he’s on the floor. He’s challenging for an All-Star appearance this season — although I don’t think it’ll happen — and he’s a vocal leader and fan favorite. Also, because he’s tiny, it means he’s a huge defensive liability. Opposing teams love to isolate Thomas on defense and post him up. I mean, wouldn’t you?

Luckily, Bradley and Smart are two of the best defensive players in the league. Bradley, despite being only 6’2” himself, is almost legendary for his on-ball defense. He isn’t going to be a star but Bradley has turned into a very nice player and his outside shooting is starting to become automatic. Smart, whom we drafted number six overall last season, is hurt a lot. When he’s on the court he’s a defensive beast, with a penchant for hitting timely three pointers, but overall he’s entirely a work in progress. He really isn’t a good shooter, and he’s not a really a point guard, and so far it’s hard to see him being a future perennial All-Star. But we must hope...

Effort Driven
Basically the entire Celtics roster is made up of “try hard” guys. Jae Crowder, acquired in the last year’s trade for Rajon Rondo, is all effort and heart. He’s a super solid 6’6” and is strong enough to defend almost anyone. Plus he's young and his shooting and passing is getting better as his game expands. Watching Crowder’s energy makes you just love him, trust me.

And then there’s power forward Jared Sullinger, who is only 6’9” but has a big butt, literally. Even though he looks slow and has no hops, Sullinger can rebound with anyone and he’s trying to get better position all the time. The downside with Sullinger is that he has some horrific shooting stretches and is almost never in shape. Yes, Sully's number one problem is that he’s kind of fat. Coaches call him out on it and he’s getting slimmer, but Sully is basically always chubby. But chubby can be cute, right?

Sidenote: Even if you don’t watch a lot of Celtics games, you’ll notice that they have a lot of interesting hair guys on their team. Smart and Jared Sullinger both sport Honey Badger-style blonde mohawks. And Kelly Olynyk's ponytail and occasional flowing locks is mesmerizing. Fun!

Our big off-season signing was Amir Johnson, an undersized forward-center who was supposed to bring us some rim protection — something we’ve long sought. As advertised, Johnson has given us exactly that and the long time veteran has been a perfect fit for the Celts. He’s been an upgrade over Brandon Bass and it’s fun to finally have a Celtic who can block some shots. I wish our 2015 second round pick, Jordan Mickey, would get some court time since he’s supposedly a shot blocking monster but it looks like he needs some more seasoning in the D-League.

Evan Turner
Stevens’ best reclamation project. Turner was basically considered hot trash when he was on the Pacers but after signing with the Celtics during the 2014 off-season he's turned into kind of an important player. Turner is 6’7” and is capable of handling the ball a lot and can make some very nifty passes. Then again, Turner is also often the dumbest player on the court as he takes bad shots, makes terrible decisions, and is kind of out-of-control. He’s entertaining though and the NBA-focused Sources Say podcast with Juliet Litman and Chris Ryan devoted a whole segment to Turner’s social media quotes.

• Ep. 22: Sources Say w/ Chris Ryan & Juliet Litman
• Evan Turner's not bad, and that's a problem for the Celtics (2015)
• What Should the Celtics Do With Evan Turner? (2015)

"Larry Bird is not walking through that door..."
The Celtics have four white guys on their team: Kelly Olynyk, Tyler Zeller, David Lee, and Jonas Jerebko. Of the four, only Olynyk is important. He’s seven feet tall and sort of looks awkward sometimes but he’s a good outside shooter and important to the Celtics because he can spread the floor by threatening a three pointer at all times. Olynyk has slow feet and is also a liability on defense but his offense could be increasingly vital for this team. At best he'll become a poor man's Dirk Nowitzki? Speaking of Dirk, I saw his documentary, The Perfect Shot, on Netflix a few weeks ago and it's pretty good.

There was a stretch last year when Tyler Zeller was looking like a keeper, but then Rajon Rondo got traded and Zeller lost the guy who got him so many easy buckets. Now Zeller's stuck on the bench. A similar thing happened to Jonas Jerebko, who at times looks like a useful offense / defense forward but then he misses every shot and you realize that he’s not sticking around much longer. And speaking of not sticking around much longer, David Lee, former All-Star and recent world champion (with the Warriors), well, I just read an article this morning questioning if Lee would be out of the league next year. So there’s that.

The Shooters We Can’t/Don’t Use
Over the past two years Danny Ainge has drafted two guards who are supposed to be great shooters. James Young came in 2014 (along with Smart) and RJ Hunter was our second first round pick this year -- along with Terry Rozier, aka mini-Smart. Neither Young or Hunter have seen much time on the floor, and even though the Celtics need outside shooting very badly they probably won't be making appearances soon. C'mon guys, just stand there and hit a three once in awhile, how hard can it be!

The Future
Basically the Celtics are a semi-competitive so-so team and lack a franchise level star. Everyone is waiting for Danny Ainge to turn this collection of C/B-level talent and all our future assets — and we have a ton of them — into a superstar and then reassemble the type of contender we had in the late 2000s. (Can you believe that the Kevin Garnett deal was almost ten years ago? Seriously, the KG trade was done in July 2007!)

We own a billion upcoming first round picks but it doesn’t seem like we’re going to get a franchise level guy because the Brooklyn Nets aren’t tanking hard enough and the Celtics are too good to draft high. Without some major luck in the draft we’re going to be stuck waiting to trade for a star. Sadly, I can’t even imagine who’s available that we might get soon. The dream is DeMarcus Cousins but the reality is that we probably can’t even get a Carmelo Anthony or something like that. Where art thou Celtics savior?

Watching so many Celtics games can be painful because we seriously can’t score most of the time, but the definition of a true fan is watching, and enjoying, the rebuild on the way to a title. Toward that end, I follow these two blogs: Celtics Hub and Celtics Life for my daily fix. You should too!

• Celtics Hub | Celtics Life

In Revolt

Currently pushing: Amos Barshad, “This Is Their Youth.” Someone should go watch this on Broadway and then report back to me. Starring Michael Cera, Kieran Culkin, and most importantly, Rookie founder Tavi Gevinson -- who was great in Enough Said. Kenneth Lonergan wrote the great You Can Count on Me, which single handedly made me love Laura Linney, so there’s a pretty good chance this will be good.

Since being back in San Diego, I’ve ripped through a ton of movies, thinking (erroneously) my MoviePass was about to expire: Hercules, TMNT, Sin City 2, Lucy, What If, Calvary, Guardians for a third time. What I gleaned from all that was basically that Taiwan is the new it place for films. Well, if representation in two movies is enough to qualify as “it.” Luc Besson shot the first part of Lucy in Taipei (although villains were Korean), and during the back half of What If, Zoe Kazan’s manic pixie dream girl character has a big job opportunity that would involve moving to Taiwan.

Coincidentally, I will be visiting Taiwan myself in a week or so. I haven’t been back in over a decade so this should be interesting. Last time I spent the back half of my trip in smoky Internet cafes, waiting for our trip to be over. This time I’ll be there for about the same amount of time, but I think I’ll enjoy it more. My mom showed me our birth certificate today. I was born at 2:46am, George two minutes later, at Taiwan Veterans General Hospital. She weighed 5 lbs 14 oz and I was six ounces smaller. The story we tell is that I was supposed to come out second, but right beforehand, I switched places. Thank goodness.

Here’s John Cho, Asian-American Hollywood hero, in the first episode of Selfie. His co-star is Karen Gillan, who plays blue-skinned Nebula, sister to Zoe Saldana’s green-skinned Gamora. I’m hoping Gillan returns for the Guardians sequel because I found her bitter cyborg to be quite compelling. ABC has two shows featuring Asian-American leads this season, with Eddie Huang’s Fresh Off the Boat debuting in October.

It’s fantasy football season and I’m mired deep in my drafts. This year I’m cutting back on all leagues, save my long time ten teamer, and my new-ish sixteen teamer. Oh and I’m counseling a friend for her league. Last year my friend piloted her team featuring LeSean McCoy, Calvin Johnson, and Matt Stafford to the top of the charts before sputtering in the Super Bowl. It was an impressive rookie run and her dedication was extraordinary. Heck, I wish she was in my leagues! “I think I woke up in the middle of the night once to check my lineup.” Direct quote.

This offseason, I was hoping to blow up my monster team featuring Adrian Peterson, McCoy, Larry Fitzgerald, Rob Gronkowski, and Andrew Luck but nobody wanted to trade me for A.P. so I’m just going to have to try to win a title with him. My team is massively impressive on paper but it never seems to do well at the end of the season. I blame All Day, even if he’s been the best fantasy running back for years.

Most of my attention this season going to be spent restocking my sixteen teamer, which has gone 5-8 in consecutive years. My first year, I traded away Drew Brees, which may have been a little hasty. In my efforts to rebuild a winner, I had to pull the trigger for Ray Rice, taking advantage of the good moral fiber of his ex-owner. Do I want a wife beater on my team? Not really, but you gotta leave your emotions off the (fantasy) field.

This season’s Hard Knocks features the Atlanta Falcons. They, like me, haven’t won anything in awhile, so I’m hoping we both have resurgent seasons. It’s been awesome to get some behind-the-scenes on my favorite team, and for the Falcons to actually get some national attention. Each episode features little segments about players on off days or at home, and my favorite so far is when Ra'Shede Hageman and teammates go to the Georgia Aquarium to take a dip with whale sharks. Also, the nuggets of wisdom that D-line coach Bryan Cox drops: "If you ain’t got a vice, something's wrong with you."

• Rembert Browne, "The 40 Most Atlanta Things About the Falcons in Hard Knocks, Episode Penultimate"
• 10 Largest Aquariums in the World (2014)

All Together Now

Currently pushing: Strength in Numbers project. Chops of Mountain Brothers fame is trying to Kickstart the money for an album he made with a roster of current Asian American musicians. There's less than three days to go and they're short. So if you care about Asian American artists, then consider donating. Also, "21 Asian American Musicians You Need to Get Behind Right Now."

I’m cleaning up the rest of Eddie Huang’s memoir, Fresh Off the Boat. I went to go see Huang back in February but I’m only now getting around to reading my friend’s copy. Fresh Off the Boat, aside from being entertaining and hilarious, is important because it presents a point of view that is rarely seen. The experiences of our generation of immigrants that grew up in American but solidly had a foot still planted in Asia -- mainly due to how our parents raised us.

If you’re an immigrant, and especially an Asian-American one, you can relate to so much from this book, especially the stuff about dealing with the culture shock of whiteness. I forgot where the link went, but my friend forwarded me a piece where a twentysomething Asian-American shares her experience growing up and being placed in ESL classes even though her English was better than everyone else’s. The writer had a line in there, heavily paraphrased, about how growing up there’s a decision you make to assimilate to the white culture around you, or to resist. (Update here's the article: "The Asian-American Awakening: That Moment When You Realize You're Not White.")

When I was younger, I never felt that, but mainly because I was mostly oblivious. In retrospect however, every person of color has to make that decision at some point. In fact, that decision is always ongoing. That moment though, the “oh shit, I’m not like them” moment is true for everyone.

When the Huang family moves to Orlando, Eddie and his brothers enter a world where he’s continually picked on and made fun of for things like his otherness, the strange lunch food he brings to school (packed with loving care by his mom), and the usual shit that we Asian-Americans know about. Young Eddie eventually decides to stop taking shit and fight back, often literally. He decides he’s not going to assimilate and that’s that.

“Emery [Eddie’s younger brother] wouldn’t go talk to my parents about the things he really cared about or about how he really felt; he’d talk to me. When he talked to them, they just yelled at him. When he came to me, I’d always get stomachaches because I didn’t know what to do most of the time. I just told him what they’d taught me about ohw we should behave: respect your parents, respet your family, speak Chinese at home, take off your shoes at home, be polite at other people’s homes, don’t borrow money from people, but if other people need it from you lend it to them, as long as it’s inconsequential. Don’t fight, but if someone calls you a chink, fight.”
-Fresh Off the Boat-

The book isn’t all about race of course, there’s an equal amount in there about class and feeling inferior because he thought his family was poor. One of my favorite things about Fresh Off the Boat is how it really focuses on the (often crazy) family dynamics that come with moving to another country together. Also, there’s a ton of sports and rap references, which is a huge bonus. Plus some Encyclopedia Brown and Jonathan Swift for good measure too. Obviously, I’m recommending the book big time because even if it doesn’t speak to your experience, it speaks to one Asian-American’s experience that isn’t stereotyped. Regardless of you how you feel about Huang's antics, he represents an attitude and viewpoint that hasn't been shown before, much less in a book.

On a related note: Maurene Goo’s Since You Asked did the exact same thing for me as Fresh Off the Boat. It’s a young adult book with race, not about it. And if you read contemporary YA, that’s incredibly rare. s.e. smith’s review captures that aspect of the book exactly. Did I happen to see Eddie Huang walk by while I was having lunch in Fort Greene a few weekends ago? Yup I did. Did I quickly move to follow him down the street to the Brooklyn Flea? Of course I did. No shame in my stalking game. Did I say hello? Of course not.

• As Fresh Off the Boat returns for new season, Eddie Huang's got a full plate
• New season of Vice's Fresh Off the Boat: Detroit
• Hyphen Magazine: Nina Ichikawa, "Starchy Fried Goodness and Other Vices"
• Roseanne Pereira, "Eddie Huang: That’s My Spaceship"
• Meet Eddie Huang, Food Personality (2011)

The new NBA season officially started yesterday. I’ve been consumed the past week in drafting for my fantasy league. Seriously, I’m checking my phone every few minutes and researching players like all the time. I haven’t even been blogging anywhere because I’ve been cranking out articles for my sixteen team keeper league, SlamNation. This is probably the only writing related thing that I don’t dawdle at. Fake articles about each trade? On it. Full reviews of each team pre and post-draft? Did it already. If I could be this productive with other things, I would be a star.

I’m contemplating joining another league, one set up to mirror Bill Simmons’ suggestions for the ultimate basketball league. Even though I’m swamped by fantasy obligations already, I’m considering joining this thing. Key word there is “fantasy” because it's all fake obligations. "I gotta go do some work/writing, and by 'work' I mean fantasy articles. See ya!" Anyway, the fantasy team I’ve been slowly rebuilding has finally acquired enough parts to make it seem like a contender. I built a team around Rajon Rondo, which meant going big ball and acquiring power guys like Dwight Howard, Josh Smith, Al Jefferson, and Andre Drummond. Of course, now Rondo is out for a few months and my poor team will just spin its wheels.

Speaking of the Celtics, it was an off-season of transition for my team. If you don’t follow basketball at all, I’ll put it like this: The Celtics tore the house down this summer and are now rebuilding it brick by brick. Gone are stalwarts Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett, in are a bunch of nobodies who won’t be around for very long. While I absolutely are dedicated to the Celtics, this is the season I happily (not-)watch them lose and instead focus my support toward the new old Celtics, aka Brooklyn Nets. I’m just a mile or so away from Barclays so I can pretend they are a semi-local team. While I couldn’t be sadder to see Pierce and Garnett go, I’m glad they have a chance to win a championship. Beat the Heat, beat the Heat!

• Brooklyn and Boston: After the Trade
• Bill & Jalen’s (Video) NBA Previews
• Simmons: The day I unveiled the greatest fantasy league ever (2011)
• Simmons: How I Would Fix Fantasy Basketball (2008)

Third and Fifteen

I haven't been in a bookstore in awhile, a terrible shame I know. This past weekend we slipped into McNally Jackson to see if they carried my trusty fantasy football magazine, Fantasy Football Index. I didn't have high hopes because well, McNally Jackson isn't the type of establishment to carry fantasy sports anything.

This despite Fantasy Football Index being the most literary fantasy football magazine of them all, meaning it has (relatively) dense text, non-gratuitous graphics, and enough content to be worth eight bucks. Over the course of the season, I'll dog-ear it and probably read through everything at least three times. Sometimes when I'm back home, I dig into old fantasy magazines I've kept around and take a spin through the Nineties, when Steve Young and Sterling Sharpe ruled the gridiron. Oh those were good times.

Earlier this morning, over computer chat, my friend asked what I was so busy with. "Fantasy," I shot back quickly, and she assumed I was doing book research or productive. It wasn't clear until much later into our disjointed conversation that most of my morning had been spent looking into potential fantasy football trades. If only I were so dedicated to actual writing, I would probably have finished five hundred projects by now.

Then again, some of my greatest work has gone into maintaining blogs for my fantasy leagues. Last season, I finally got into this sixteen team keeper organized by a few of my college friends. They had me on the waitlist for years and owners almost never dropped out. Seriously, these guys discuss passing their franchises down to their kids. Well, I finally got into Maize and Blue last year -- taking over the defending champion's team no less -- and promised them I'd be a one man blogging machine. Since I never break any promises, like ever, I spent an hour or two doing heavy duty research and then wrote the first article of the season, a 750 word opus about a blockbuster for Russell Wilson. Keep in mind that this is a fake league, with an audience of maybe sixteen people, give or take. Some might say that my writing energies are all focused on the wrong places, but to them I say, "Who cares, it's fun!"

During the last NFL season, Alex Pappademas, a non-football fan, did a column for Grantland about following the Cincinnati Bengals. In it he talks about everything but football, dropping references to Piotr Rasputin, James Ellroy, and Steely Dan, among many other wonders. His column was one of my favorite football reads last year and I'd consider aping the idea -- much like I tried to copy Nick Hornby's "Stuff I've Been Reading" Believer series -- but it's hard to watch football with no television. And I generally abhor watching sports in bars. Someone gift me a TV, thanks.

I wish I was better at writing about fantasy, since really that's what my million practice words were probably spent on. I've been playing fantasy for too long to suck this much -- at both the writing and playing parts. I submitted last year to Grantland's Fantasy Island writing competition but didn't even get to sniff a jockstrap. Oh well. I guess it's good I failed since it sounded like a lot of work. And we know how I feel about that word.

Also, I like it when Stephen Elliot interjects fantasy football asides into his Daily Rumpus. I'd like to interject more fantasy stuff into my conversations but there really isn't anything more boring than hearing about somebody else's fantasy team. Unless you're a good writer I guess, like Pappademas and Elliot, then you can talk about anything. So I guess I'll just stick to whatever it is I write about...

• Alex Pappademas: I Suck at Football
• Daily Rumpus: Fantasy Football For Your Kindle (2010)
• The Self-Made Man: How Stephen Elliott Writes His Life (2012)
• Announcing the Fantasy Island Contestants (2012)
• My first "Stuff I've Been Reading" (2007)

Wait, I got sidetracked. I was supposed to be talking about books, not football. What I wanted to focus on was showrooming in bookstores. Actually, not even focus, just admit to that mortal sin. Yes, most of the time when I'm in a bookstores nowadays, I browse real fast and jot down titles of stuff that I'll look up in full later. And sometimes if I'm feeling especially lazy, I'll just take a photo of the cover. I know it's bad, because I always do it surreptitiously, with a glance to see if employees are watching. And not the kind of bad where you feel so good afterwards. This is just bad bad, the guilty kind of bad.

Showrooming is ruining retail, it's leading to the demise of brick and mortar stores, etc. Where will people go to read books if everyone shops at Barnes & Noble but buys discounted online!? These are great questions I have no answers for. All I know is that I showroom and rarely buy a book in stores anymore unless it's a must-have right then or a person I know wrote it. I don't know if this reveal will lead me to being excommunicated from the writing community. Are we supposed to not participate in showrooming? What's the right move here?

Either way, I think I'm super good at picking out intriguing stuff on the fly because I snapped six photos and I batted a perfect one thousand. I picked up Thomas Israel Hopkins' The Year of Living Autobiographically because, well, the title. And the premise. Hopkins wrote one status update per day -- within Facebook's imposed 420 characters -- but never posted it, instead collecting it into this slim self-published volume. I only read a few entries but was charmed by the premise and execution.

Then, with time winding down and dinner reservations waiting, I nabbed photos of the really intriguing Inferno (A Poet's Novel) by Eileen Myles and The Chairs Are Where The People Go by Misha Glouberman with Sheila Heti. On the way out, we swung by the middle grade section right by the stairs and I was sucked in by the covers for What We Found in the Sofa and How It Saved the World, Michael Edna's Momo, and After Iris, another book about a dead identical twin. Identical twins dying is so a trend right now, be careful all you lookalikes!

The lesson I learned during my foray into the bookstore was that covers matter, placement matters (all the books I grabbed were face out on shelves or on tables), showrooming is wrong, and um, buy your fantasy sports magazines at the bodega on the corner of St. Mark's Place. Also, I still don't own any of the aforementioned titles because I'm backed up on everything book related. I can't buy anything until I make at least a small dent in my to-read pile.

Included in the post photo is evidence of my crimes -- those are my thumbs. I have a whole collection of these on my computer from all the showrooming I voluntarily participate in. I'm going to author jail. Oh wait, tautology. Or redundant. Eh, whatever. Closing thought: If the punishment for writers showrooming and buying on Amazon was poor sales for their work, would anyone ever do it? My unwitting answer was obviously "yes." I apparently struck some sort of reverse Faustian bargain. Currently I have no knowledge or power. Maybe I'm destined to live forever or something. Otherwise I demand a refund. Or at least a deep discount.

• The Inspiration of The Year of Living Autobiographically
• Timeout Chicago review of The Chairs Are Where the People Go
• NY Times review of After Iris
• Bookslut review of Inferno (A Poet's Novel)
• PW Review: What We Found in the Sofa and How It Saved the World

Tearin' Up My Heart

Guess how much time I spent this morning "researching" a boy band's background? And not even a relevant boy band like One Direction. Allow me to catch you up onto the wonder that is IM5. Here's their "Disney Dudez" parody. As you'll see, the band contains a black Justin Bieber sing/dress/lookalike, and an Asian kid. More importantly, the (mixed-)Asian one is the cute one. And the tallest. And the most talented. #hotasianboy can now literally be applied to a boy. Move aside Godfrey Gao.

I don't have to tell you that having an Asian American boy band member is unprecedented. I mean, you'll have to go back to MTV's original Making the Band to find a predecessor. Even then, not quite. Bryan Chan got cut early on and I can't tell if Ikaika Kahoano was mixed or what. Neither of them made it to O-Town, but did end up joining forces later on to form their own by band. Trivia: Matthew Morrison was also in LMNT. Yes, a young Mr. Schuester. Mind blown.

Anyway, let's bring it back to Will Jay, trailblazer and soon to be icon. He fucking kills it in the Disney video -- as, ahem, Shang/Mulan -- and he should clearly have fan girls following his every move. Heck, I may be fangirling him. Read his bio. He's got Jason Mraz on there, Al Green on there, and omg, Tribe. A seventeen year old who listens to ATCQ? Just give me the papers to adopt him or date him off to someone I know. Of appropriate age of course. Also, young Will drops Catch Me If You Can references in interviews. What's not to love?

The ultimate capper here is that this boy band you've never heard of was founded by Simon Fuller of Spice Girls/Idol fame and Perez Hilton. "We don't want any ugly ones. We don't want any Joey Fatones, if you know what I mean." IM5 is clearly about to be the next big thing. Can any of them actually sing without auto-tune? Are any of their songs any good? The answers are "probably not" and "definitely not," and but I mean, does that even matter?

And to prove that I don't just go gaga over boy bands, here's a "The Cup Song" cover featuring Kina Grannis and some other Youtube people. Related, I am on the lookout for three friends who can sing, clap, and flip cups around at the same time. Auditions only done in-person, apply via text message. Start practicing.

Heat wave time is officially here. I've never owned this many tank tops in my life and just the other day I caved and got an air conditioner for the apartment. It's hard to hibernate by day when your room is a furnace. This mini 5000 BTU beauty does the job and I'm happy to include it among my growing inventory of "things that control the weather/temperature." Between a space heater, humidifier, and this AC, I'm ready for every season. What I'll do with these items when I move is beyond me.

Living in New York, and staying put in one place for so much longer than I'm used to, has made me pile up stuff. My old "only have what you can carry" rule isn't quite working out anymore. Thus, time to declutter! Here's a nice Medium post about doing exactly that, "The Noise of Stuff." I was also reading a good article about the whole getting rid of extra fluff and living a minimalist lifestyle thing and how it's only for the privileged. The article made some remarkable points but unfortunately I can't find it. The basic takeaway was that privilege wasn't about having the money to buy stuff, but also about being in a place where you can choose where or  how you spend your resources.

I choose to spend my money on multiple shaved ices and bubble teas. As any sane person would do in this weather.

Bad segue alert. You know who has really been decluttering? Danny Ainge! Over the span of a week or so, he tore apart my beloved Celtics and is going into total tank mode. Last time we did this, we whiffed on getting a high pick, aka Kevin Durant, but made out with the revised Big Three and a championship. Now our head coach basically quit on us, and we jettisoned our team leaders and the beating heart of Celtic pride -- along with the guy who maybe jumped the gun on a tattoo. Then we went ahead and hired a head coach who's barely older than me. It's a definite recipe for success.

To be honest, I wasn't unhappy to see the rebuilding start. Next year's draft is supposed to be stacked so if we're gonna hit rock bottom this is the time to do it. When we went to Vegas a few weeks ago, I didn't even put my traditional fifty dollars down on the Celtics to win the championship. It'll be super weird and tremendously sad to see Paul Pierce -- and to a much lesser extent, Kevin Garnett -- wearing the Brooklyn white and black, but I'd rather have them fighting for a title as opposed to rotting away in Boston. Although I did hope they would join Doc, Chris Paul, and Blake Griffin in Clipperland. That would have been an interesting contender.

The biggest question now is what happens to Rajon Rondo. I'm not sure he's a viable franchise cornerstone, what with his sometimes genius level play alternating with huge deficiencies in his game, but I don't want to see him go yet. Maybe he'll take the reins now, without a few old men to slow him down. Anyway, the NBA off-season has been super exciting and I'm refreshing Twitter and checking news like crazy.

• On The End of The Paul Pierce Era and Start of A Rebuild
• What the Pierce-Garnett Trade Means for the Nets and Celtics
• Crashing Invitation to KG and Paul Pierce From a Brooklyn-Dwelling Celtics Fan
• Emergency B.S. Report with Bill Simmons and Ryen Russillo
• Why We Watch: Rajon Rondo, Cubist

Never Ever Be Any Good

Listening to: iTheory, "Thinkin' Bout You (The Frank Ocean Project)." From what I can tell, Geoff Ibe is a college student in Arizona who somehow has the time in-between classes to do smoothed out Frank Ocean covers. Taking into account my weakness for anything "Thinkin' Bout You" related, this version is my favorite so far. The fact that this is produced by a young Asian American student pushes it over the top. Throw in a cover of "Weak" Ibe did with some friends and it's game over. Here is iTheory's Bandcamp page.

Bonus: He also produced this Niki Fajardo cover of Elle Varner's "Only Wanna Give It To You" and I've had it on repeat too. Clearly there is a lot more productivity going on in university kids' dorm rooms than when I was in college.

For a second, I thought the cold was over and I could celebrate having made it through a New York winter. Case in point, a few weeks ago, as the city rejoiced and people came rushing outside to enjoy the weather, I stayed indoors to get tan by the glare of my laptop screens. "Why go out in all the crowds when it would just be sunny from here on out?" Little did I know that it would only be a tease.

This past week, when it neared eighty degrees, I knew better. JMZ called me up on Thursday and said "Let's go skateboarding!" I immediately said "yes" even though I (a) don't own a skateboard and (b) haven't skateboarded since middle school. In fact, the last time I got on a skateboard, I was trying to play basketball on it at the same time and ended up breaking my arm. I'd like to think that fateful date short-circuited both my professional skate and basketball careers.

We found a guy selling a cheap board on Craiglist and set off toward the Newkirk Ave stop to buy it. The eight dollar board was passeable -- for child's use, which was fine by me -- but the wheels were heavily cracked. So we made a pit stop at Skate Brooklyn to buy some wheels. That's when sticker shock hit. A lot has changed since the Eighties! Skateboards now cost $100-150 for the entire rig. Deck, trucks, wheels, bearings, risers, etc. I had been hoping to just drop a few dollars and get a nice afternoon reacclimating myself to skateboarding. Instead, JMZ and I faced some tough financial decisions. The guys at Skate Brooklyn were super knowlegeable and helpful, and we ended up dropping sixty bucks on a new set of wheels.

By the time we got to Central Park, it was nearly five in the afternoon and we didn't have much time left to hit the loop, or give me time to bunny slope it, as it were. JMZ assured me that riding a skateboard would be like riding a bike, and I believed him, but apparently I never really got good enough at skateboarding in the first place, since no muscle memory kicked in. Within five minutes of struggling and wobbling, I'd already received unsolicited tips from a stranger -- "Keep your head up and look ahead instead of down" -- and managed to go chasing after my board as it shot out from underneath me.

Needless to say, my dreams of cruising around on the streets of New York this summer will have to be slightly delayed. My goal isn't even to do any tricks or anything, I just want to get from Point A to Point B in a fairly efficient manner. I did manage to get semi-comfortable on my board by the end of the day, but as this (embarrassing) video can attest, I've got a long way -- and many more MPHs -- to go. The good news is, all weekend long I've been reading about how to skateboard, watching inspiring videos, thinking about re-reading Jocko Weyland's The Answer Is Never, and twitching my thumbs thinking back to when I used to play the shit out of Tony Hawk. I figure that should take me halfway there right? Plus all the skate lingo I learned? #laserflip #thrash #durometer

There's a larger conversation here about being a poseur, but we'll shelve that for another time.

Since that initial foray back in the saddle, I've bought two skateboards -- including a miniboard for JMZ. Basically, the ratio of me surfing the Internet for skateboard stuff versus time actually spent on a skateboard is about 10:1 so far. I mean, when in doubt and without skill, accessorize! I also desperately wanted to buy these electric blue cruising wheels, but that would just be ridiculous so I stopped myself. By the end of summer I hope to be risking my physical health at a street corner near you. Please scrape me off the sidewalk and say hello. But don't call an ambulance because I don't have insurance. Because I am a writer.

• Skateboard Buyers Guide
• How to Skateboard
• Penny vs Globe Bantam vs Brighton Skateboards
• Penny Swag video (2012)
• Second Nature video (2011)
• 1986 Action Sports Kamikaze Skateboard

My friend reminded me that I have a tendency to get really into something each summer, and then promptly forget all about it soon afterwards. A few seasons ago it was the ukulele -- I can only play one song -- and last year it was bird watching. I hope to somehow conflate all of these faux hobbies into one...by buying a backpack that can hold my binoculars, the neglected uke, and my flashy new skateboard. Yes, I will travel around with gear that I can neither use effectively nor impressively. It'll prove all my doubters wrong for sure.

In related news, I lust after this 2010 Incase x Paul Rodriguez Skate Pack. After AMR showed it to me online the other day, I saw someone in the street wearing it out by Herald Square. I literally stopped in my tracks and wanted to ask him where he found it. Or rip it right off his shoulders. And then skate away.

For a potentially cheap, fun thing to do, skateboarding is sure turning out to be expensive. And obviously it's seriously kicking my consumerism instincts into overdrive. Maybe it was better when it was winter and my hobby was being a hermit. That was definitely cost effective.

On My Parade

Listening to: rainymood.com. Who doesn't love the sound of rain, but huddled up safely indoors? I've been listening to this site for a whole day straight. There's a link to a song of the day below, or you can just put on your own moodtastic song on. Now to get a Rainshower Glade plug-in to have my room smell like rain too. Um, delicious.

In late January, it was announced that Rajon Rondo was out for the season with a torn ACL. Maybe you don't care about this. But it ruined my life. It ruined way bigger things than that too. It ruined my fantasy basketball team, it ruined the Celtics current season, it ruined the Big Three era. An athlete who tears his ACL won't be fully recovered for a year at least. By then, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce will be even older. Immediately following Rondo's injury news, pundits were speculating that general manager Danny Ainge would have to blow up the team.

Over the holiday break, George and I attended a Celtics game and thank goodness we did as KG, Pierce, and Rondo may never play together again. We wore jerseys and everything! Unfortunately, the Celtics were blown out by the Clippers, but we sat real close so it was still fun. However, if the Celtics are going to rebuild, it could be a long time before we can be that excited again. Since George is a semi-new fan, she doesn't know how long it can be between great teams. She's only been around for the good times. She doesn't know the actual feeling of going over twenty years between titles. I fear she will soon find out.

Also, I am concerned for our siblingship. Without the Celtics' championship hopes to rally around, our relationship could collapse. I mean, what else will we talk about? Danny, I'm pleading with you not to break up a happy home. Don't trade KG or Pierce. Don't make George sad. Otherwise I'll never hear the end of it. #goceltics

• Life Without Rondo
• Celtics Hub: Welcome to the Rebuild
• Paul Pierce (Still) Wants To Retire As A Celtic: Why It Matters
• The Point Forward: C's hard-pressed to stay afloat without Rajon Rondo
• Are the Celtics Really This Good Without Rajon Rondo?

And then there's football, another sports disaster for me. I've laid out my reasons for being a Falcons fan before, but mainly it's because I was hardcore into Deion Sanders. Liking teams in faraway places actually compelled me to apply to schools in Boston and Atlanta just in case I wanted to go there. Clearly I was not the brightest high schooler. "Yes, Boston College, Emory, I'd like to attend. Never visited, but I like sports teams in your city!" Instead I went to Michigan, which obviously has a huge sports culture but somehow I emerged with no school spirit at all. UMich's basketball team is/was number one? Really? News to me.

Anyway, the stupid Falcons broke my heart too. After going 13-3, earning themselves the best record in the league, and having an almost MVP candidate in quarterback Matt Ryan, they proceeded to collapse big time. Nobody believed in them because they were being talked about as paper tigers all season long. But I hoped they would be better than everyone thought. Roddy White and Julio Jones were Andre Rison and Michael Haynes 2.0!

It had been almost fifteen years since the Falcons made it to their lone Super Bowl, and that game was pretty much over from go, as John Elway and Terrell Davis shellacked the Falcons 34-19. This time around, I was hoping they could redeem themselves. Starting off with tempered expectations, I was watching the Falcons verus 49ers game a few weeks ago, hopping between the laundromat and a burger joint -- I don't have a TV so watching sports has been dicey. When Atlanta jumped out to a seventeen point lead, I thought it was over. Then the 49ers came back to almost tie it up by halftime, and I went straight into panic mode. Suffice to say, the Falcons failed to score in the second half and San Francisco emerged with a 28-24 victory. Epic collapse.

Basically I've decided to give up on sports -- the only thing keeping me going is watching the Lakers collapse too. This past weekend, I even took a hiatus from watching the Super Bowl because it just wasn't worth it. Excuse me while I put up photos of my teams when they were happy, so I can feel better. It's all I have left.

• The Thrill of Defeat
• Who Is the Real Matty Ice?
• D-Block: The Glorious Talk Show of the Atlanta Falcons Linebacking Corps (2012)
• The Incomplete Tale of Matt Ryan (2012)

Primary Colors

Taking a cue from the local Nets of Brooklyn, black and white is in! While everyone else is trying to make their uniforms/websites gleam with cutting edge technology and graphics, I decided to follow Hova and go from rainbow to monochrome. Classy to ashy.

A quick template change later and the blog is done with its annual refresh. I also made the agonizing decision to go with truncated posts versus showing the entirety of each post. I have long strongly believed in having completely scrollable posts for personal blogs, no matter the length -- ala most of my favorite (defunct) blogs, such as Hipstomp -- but this template looks much nicer with the "read more" enabled. Most people cruise blogs through the RSS anyway, so it should be no big loss. Sorry for all the forced click clicking.

Also, since it's tough to call yourself an author when you haven't written anything in awhile, I'm shifting this space back to random flotsam and jetsam. YA will still get its due but more likely that'll shift over to a new young adult site Kiersi and I are pulling together. So this redesign is a return to the basics, and a return to the things you missed, and all of the things you didn't. Black and white and read all over...

Speaking of those Brooklyn Nets, I got a chance to visit Barclays Center about a month ago. The outside of the monstrosity is as ugly as everyone says it is, but the inside is beautiful. Right after you get through the doors, you're already in view of the main court, and it's quite impressive. There's no walls or tunnels blocking your way and the scoreboard and seats just materialize right in front of you. Also, there's a practice court or something on the side, which is also kind of neat to look down at.

I was ostensibly at Barclays to cheer for Michigan versus West Virginia, but I have no sports loyalty to my college and barely knew who the players were, much less that we were actually good this year. I know, I'm a disgrace to the UofM community. The nachos were delicious though, and there's a Cafe Habana inside the stadium. Corn is kind of like maize right? Go Blue?

Do You Hear the People Sing?

Listening to: Atmosphere, "Yesterday." I was in a rap mood the other day and this hit home. From Slug and Ant's album, "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold." Not the most subtle title, I know.

Last week we had the brilliant idea of all picking a sports team to randomly follow and obsess over. With the playoff demise of my Celtics and the NFL in lockout mode, we're staring at a summer with no sports to pay attention to. Plus, if you haven't noticed, liking the same team can be a great way for people to bond. Heck, a few weeks ago I was in LA and randomly seated next to a guy wearing a Red Sox hat who was intently watching the Celtics versus Heat game. We got to chatting and I was so excited just to meet another Boston fan that we talked for an hour. Afterwards we exchanged hearty handshakes and said, "good luck [to our team] man." I'd never felt so close to another human being.

In deciding a team to throw our arbitrary support behind, we first had to pick a sport. Initially we considered maybe hockey or the WNBA, but none of us really want to get into hockey and the WNBA, well, too many NBA loyalties would flood over. My original thought was that we'd find a European soccer team because years ago, Bill Simmons picked a favorite English Premier League team by a process involving careful study and elimination. But cheering for a Euro team would have made watching games tough and the chance of seeing them live would be small. So instead we're going to with a Major League Soccer team.

Instead of studying the rosters or doing a lot of research, we decided to scientifically go with whoever had the most appealing logo (all MLS logos here). While I was initially attracted to the sexy green logo of the Portland Timbers, Jasmine has convinced me that Club Deportivo Chivas USA's logo is mighty fine and classy to boot. The logo also mysteriously features two lions crowded around a giant tree. Clearly this is meant to represent Simba and Nala around the Tree of Life. We like this. Plus, their secondary logo is a fierce goat.

In the recent past, Chivas won their conference with a sterling 15-7-8 record (2007) but sunk to last place in 2010. This year they have a hopeful record of three each of wins, losses and ties. (Whoops, I meant "draws." Ties are called draws in soccer, I guess) They are currently underdogs and fighting for a spot at the top but we like their grit and determination. In fact, Chivas is widely praised for their gentlemanly efforts on the pitch and lose with dignity -- unlike some other LA based teams. I actually have no idea if any of this is true but it sure sounds like something I'd like them to be.

Having thus selected our new team, here are a few reasons you should also support Chivas with us:

• They are currently sponsored by Corona. I already liked Corona but this is another reason to drink it. Here is a video of their Corona jerseys unveil. Also the club name's similarity to Chivas Regal means we'll have something to drink after big wins. I can't handle whiskey but for my soccer team I'll suck it up.
• "Deportivo" means "sportsmanlike," and "chivas" means "to whisper, to tell secretly." Or used as a reflexive verb, it could also mean "to upset, to swindle, or to get annoyed." I love all of these options.
• They are the little brother to parent club Club Deportivo Guadalajara, one of the most successful clubs in Mexico. We will now have a great reason to visit Guadalajara and take in a game.
• C.D. Guadalajara is the only football club in Mexico to exclusively field players of Mexican heritage.
• The three colors of the team are red, white, and blue, symbolic of "Fraternity, Union, and Sports".
• Their support groups are named Legion 1908, the Union Ultras, and the Black Army 1850.
• Their top scorer is Justin Braun, who was born in 1987 and could be a beefier Justin Bieber if you squint hard enough. He recently scored the first hat trick in team history, and won the Player of the Week for his efforts.
• In this video from a 2009 game, a player celebrates after a goal by making a hand heart. As far as I'm concerned this is now the official way to celebrate after every Chivas goal.

I hope you're convinced and will soon join the bandwagon. To be honest, the only downer I have so far is that I kind of can't handle the red, white, and blue striped uniforms. They are just a little too patriotic for me and I can't roll with it. That's why we've decided to join the Black 1850s and go goth or something. If you don't know anything about the rules of soccer and feel like lack of knowledge would be a stumbling block to your fandom, don't worry, I don't know nothing about soccer either. This is all about enthusiasm and passion, no previous experience required.

The MLS seasons start in March and end around October, which is perfect for slotting right in-between the NBA and NFL. I'm super excited to learn some team chants and traditions. I'm on the lookout for a great blog or two following Chivas too. Your first chance to see our new team is this Saturday in the Honda Superclasico, when they face off against their hated rivals, the LA Galaxy. Please look over the cdchivasusa.com site, their Wikipedia entry, and the 2010 highlights video so we can cheer together. Any friend of Chivas is a friend of mine!

All In for the Win

Listening to: The Morning Benders, "Lovefool (Cardigans)" and Ben Taylor, "Nothing Compares to You." I guess I'm in a covers mood. Actually I'm arguably always in a covers mood.

My sister just sent an email asking me to explain why Shaq's strained calf muscle keeps him out for weeks while other player's injuries only last a few days. The answer is: I don't know. I mean, Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal is old. Like thirty nine years old. And he weighs (at least) three hundred and fifty pounds. His body just breaks down a lot. He's also the only hope the Celtics have of winning title eighteen. Yes, it's desperate times for Celtics fans starting this weekend, when they face off against the Knicks in round one of the 2011 NBA playoffs.

Post Kendrick Perkins trade, the Celtics' new additions have been nigh useless and the growing sentiment among fans and experts are that the Celtics are done as serious contenders. They got blown out by the Heat and the Bulls in recent weeks and the entire attitude of the team is in the dumps. They need Rajon Rondo to step up but he's somehow morphed from best point guard in the league to inconsistent and puzzling headache. It's been theorized that the Perkins trade has emotionally affected Rondo as he lost his best friend on the team.

It's easy to forget that for these dozen guys who spend all their time together, losing your hang out buddy can throw everything into flux. You lose that person you talk to, eat on the road with, and for Rondo and Perkins, basically grew up with. Since the trade deadline, the Celtics have added five new players -- Jeff Green, Nenad Krstic, Troy Murphy, Carlos Arroyo, and Sasha Pavlovic -- and that must be difficult on a team used to steady and stellar chemistry. And poor Avery Bradley, the only rookie left on the team. Who does he hang out with? As we learned in Episode 4 of The Association, Bradley is tasked with getting peanut butter and jelly for every pre-game spread. That must be an even lonelier task now.

I'm already a pessimistic fan at heart -- always fearing the worst -- but I still have a slight hope that Boston can pull through this year. Although logically they aren't good enough, maybe they can just magically make it happen. Of course, nothing would hurt me more than to see them fight to the Finals and then lose to the Lakers again. Last year's Game Seven defeat was too painful. I can't do it again this year. So please basketball gods, just tell me if the Celtics will win a championship this year. I'll trade you something really valuable in return if the answer is "yes." My first born child is yours. Okay fine, George's first born child as well. Take all our children!

Last year the Celtics started their epic run to the Finals while I was headed to Europe. Clearly I need to leave the country again for them to succeed this year. Mexico is only a short drive away, maybe I better go down there for the next two months. Anything for my Celtics. I'm already preparing to get all emotional either way. Damn feelings, damn this weak heart.

Let's end on a happy note: Paul Pierce's best dunks of the season. For some reason Pierce has been unleashing some monster dunks this year, which proves that he's still got a little spring in his step. And speaking of hops, this JR Smith dunk is the craziest one from this season-- even greater than any of Quake Griffin's. Pause it and look at where Smith takes off from before he hammers it home two-handed. I'd take some of that in the morning.

Greatest Love of All

I had this old VHS that I wore out to death: NBA Superstars. It was one of my first basketball videos and I'd watch it over and over again. At the time I had yet to have any music preferences so I just listened to all the artists featured on the video. Luckily for me, the artists and songs highlighted were pretty classic. Janet Jackson, Vanessa Williams, Kool Moe Dee, John Mellencamp, Yanni, Steely Dan, Whitney Houston. Each song was paired with an all pro and it was all so beautifully done. A few years ago NBA Entertainment released all three Superstars sets on one DVD. Only the first one is timeless, but for a few bucks it's a must buy for every basketball fan. Check out some of the videos and playlists from the first Superstars tape here. And this NBA Jam Session tape was my second favorite, but it never hit DVD sadly.

Of course, when I went to make my memory video of my first in-person Celtics game this weekend, I dipped into the Superstars playlist for a classic, Billy Joel's "This is the Time." Their version features NBA greats from the past; my version features my Saturday night at the Clippers versus Celtics game.

Basketball games I've attended in my lifetime: (1) Golden State Warriors versus Clippers when I was a teenager. My dad brought me because the Clippers were doing pre-season in San Diego and we sat way up. (2) Pistons versus Hawks, in college, when a group of us got tickets for the Palace and sat as high up as humanly possible. Dikembe Mutombo was an ant. (3) Lakers vs 76ers once on Christmas Day. Somehow my friend had box seats and George and I both went to see Iverson battle Kobe and Shaq. I thought that would be closest I'd ever get to a NBA game.

Oh no, this time around, we sat seriously three rows from the front. Like it was us, then two rows of VIP seating, then courtside seats. I've been telling people that we were well within the Splash Zone. Suffice to say, the only time I've been closer to a basketball game was when I'm sitting on the sidelines of a pickup game, waiting my turn.

How did I end up with such great seats? Well, my friend's girlfriend got him the tickets for his Valentine's Day present. And then she so kindly suggested that he take me. Initially I wasn't sure if I could take them up on their kind offer since I was clear across the country and flying in for a game seemed extravagant. But my friend said, "C'mon, it's once in a lifetime. Get here and we'll go. " So of course I had to come because this was my only chance to see Paul Pierce, KG, Rondo, and Ray Allen all together. No amount of money would be worth staying away. I love Valentine's Day! (Actually I think I just love my friend's girlfriend, but in a grateful way.)

You would cry too it if happened to you.

So how was the game? It was amazing of course. Everyone looks exactly like they do on TV, just life sized. It's weird. Celebrities tend to look different than they do on-screen, but sports people are just the same in person. Maybe I need to get closer or something. But what you can't feel at home is the absolute confidence and coolness of all the players.

The Clippers, who aren't even a good team, all carry themselves with swagger. Backup players are looking out into the stands as if they own the place. And when Blake Griffin is about to get loose for a dunk, the entire arena stands up in anticipation. He had two open court slams and a few other mighty ones. The man is a monster. And when they say Kevin Garnett just exudes cool, it's absolutely true. Just looking at these prime athletes walking around on the hardwood made me want to faint. "How do they walk around being so awesome all the time?"

The floor looks tiny though, like way smaller than it is on television. More narrow and not nearly as wide. The players look like they are all mushed together and it seems like there's no room anywhere. And when dunks or spurts of action happen, it's all incredibly fast. Blink and you miss the pass that leads to a score. You really gotta pay attention. I tried my hardest not to take pictures, video, or look at my phone because I needed to maximize my forty eight minutes of heaven. My hands started hurting from clapping so hard about halfway through the first quarter. I had to pace myself. I found myself yelling out non-sensical things even though I'm not much of a screamer.

I'm also not normally an autograph or picture guy but I was hoping maybe I'd sneak close enough to a player for one or the other. My semi-realistic goal was to say "hey" to Brian Doo, the Celtics strength and conditioning coach. He's always on TV and he's like the Asian face of the organization. Sadly, no Celtic came within hailing distance of me. However, my friend did get to meet Ben Baller, who is the new Jacob the Jeweler -- among many other things. Just the night before, my friend had been showing me Baller's blog and website and filling me in on his history. And then at halftime this blinged out Korean guy goes walking by and my friend's like, "It's Ben Baller!"

When he came by again, my friend congratulated Baller on his recent engagement and then we snapped a quick pic. The encounter made us seriously giddy and it was our biggest brush with celebrity that night. Unless you count Pat Sajak, who also walked by, looking all orange and old. Or Billy Crystal, who looked kinda bored and probably wished he had Oscar hosting prep to do. I did keep an eagle eye out for Bill Simmons but no luck there.

Afterwards, we drove back down to San Diego and immediately rewatched the game on DVR to see if we made any of the shots. Our seats were situated so that every time the teams transitioned from one end to the other, we appeared as little blurbs in the background. It's such a small thrill but man were we excited. I want to save that recording forever. During the game, we tried to jump out of our chairs before anyone else in order to get on TV but that clearly didn't work. Next time I need to wear my gear -- which we had run out of time to pick up beforehand. I have logo-ed out high rise socks, wrist bands, a jersey, and a sweatband, I swear!

This was quite possibly the best night of 2011 for me. And it's only February. Sorry March through December, it's all downhill from here. Thanks Hong and Jenn, Sweetest Day this year is on me!